Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I enjoy taking photos.”). Avoid unclear phrases and redundancy. Provide one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “For example,” or “because”). Use accurate grammar (e.g., “capturing memories is important to me”) and a wider range of relevant vocabulary (e.g., subjects, scenery, composition, candid shots). Keep answer within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different subjects. For example, I often photograph plants and flowers because their colors and details are beautiful and help me remember places I’ve visited.

提案: Give a clear preference with reasons and avoid repetition. Begin with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “I prefer urban views.” or “I prefer rural views.”). Then support with specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “however”). Avoid vague or fragmented phrases like “the man it is” and ensure correct grammar and word choice (infrastructure, opportunities, architecture, street scenes). One or two concrete examples will help.

例: I prefer urban views because cities offer diverse architecture and lively street scenes that are interesting to photograph. For example, I like capturing modern buildings, colorful markets, and busy streets because they show local life and details.

提案: This answer is clear and personal—keep the structure but tighten language and add one more specific detail. Start with a concise topic sentence, then explain reasons and give a vivid example with linking words (e.g., “For example,” “because”). Replace general words (“village”) with more descriptive language when possible (e.g., “small coastal village,” “fields and rice terraces”). Maintain 2–4 sentences and correct minor grammar (e.g., “in the village”).

例: I prefer scenery in my own country because it reminds me of childhood. For example, in summer I spent time with my family in a small village, walking among rice fields and old trees, and those landscapes always feel nostalgic and comforting.

× Yes, I love taking pictures of people's animals, plants, flowers, because capturing memory is like to me.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of people's animals, plants, and flowers, because capturing memories is important to me.

The original sentence misuses 'capturing memory is like to me.' This involves incorrect verb/phrase structure and noun number. 'Capturing memories' (plural) is natural, and the phrase should be 'is important to me' rather than 'is like to me.' Also added 'and' in the list for correct coordination. Suggestion: use noun plural when referring to multiple recollections and use a correct linking adjective phrase (e.g., 'important to me').

× Very, very memorable.

✓ They are very, very memorable.

The fragment 'Very, very memorable.' lacks a subject and verb, making it a sentence structure error. The corrected sentence adds the subject 'They' (referring to the pictures or memories) and the verb 'are.' Suggestion: ensure each sentence has at least a subject and a verb.

× And I like to capture.

✓ And I like to capture them.

This sentence is incomplete because the object is missing; 'capture' needs an object. Adding 'them' clarifies what is captured (the pictures/memories). Suggestion: include an explicit object when using transitive verbs.

× I prefer urban areas when I like its convenience, there's a lot of opportunity and the cities are infrastructured and the man it is.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I like their convenience; there are many opportunities, the cities are well‑infrastructured, and services are readily available.

Multiple tense and agreement issues: 'when I like its convenience' is awkward—use 'because I like their convenience' to match plural 'urban areas.' 'There's a lot of opportunity' should be 'there are many opportunities' (plural agreement). 'The cities are infrastructured' is unnatural; use 'well‑infrastructured' or 'have good infrastructure.' 'and the man it is' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely intended to mention services or people, so replaced with 'and services are readily available.' Suggestions: maintain subject-verb agreement and use natural collocations (have infrastructure, many opportunities).

× However, I also like urban areas because there are we can capture.

✓ However, I also like urban areas because there are many things we can capture.

The original word order 'there are we can capture' is incorrect. Use 'there are many things we can capture' to provide a grammatical subject and correct relative clause order. Suggestion: place 'there are' before the noun phrase and follow with a relative clause describing it.

× I prefer the scenery in my own country because it is closely connected to my childhood memories.

✓ I prefer the scenery in my own country because it is closely connected to my childhood memories.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no article change is needed. Included as confirmation: 'the scenery' correctly refers to a general set of landscapes in the speaker's country. No correction required.

× For example, in summer, I used to spend time with my family in village and those landscapes always feel nostalgic and comforting.

✓ For example, in the summer, I used to spend time with my family in the village, and those landscapes always felt nostalgic and comforting.

Two issues: missing article before 'village'—use 'the village' when referring to a specific place—and tense consistency: 'I used to spend' (past habit) pairs better with 'felt' rather than 'feel' to maintain past perspective. Also added commas for clarity. Suggestion: use appropriate articles before singular countable nouns and keep tense consistent in related clauses.