Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a concise topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct tense and linking words. Avoid repetition and fix sentence structure (e.g., "when I travel abroad" not "when I on traveling abroad").

例: Yes, I do. I particularly enjoy photographing landscapes when I travel abroad; for example, on my trip to Japan I took many photos of Mount Fuji because its shape and colours were so striking.

提案: Give one clear topic sentence and then a linked reason with a specific example. Correct small grammar issues ("urban areas" plural, "at night"). Use a linking phrase like "because" or "for example" to connect ideas and avoid fillers like "yeah".

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy architectural details and city lights; for example, I love how skyscrapers lit up at night create a dramatic skyline.

提案: Make a direct statement then provide a clear reason with concise language. Remove hesitation words and repetitions. Use a linking word like "because" and give a specific contrast or example to support your idea.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they feel new and different; for instance, visiting a coastal town in Portugal offered landscapes and architecture that I had never seen at home, which made the experience exciting.

× I love taking pictures of different views, especially when I on traveling abroad and like for example, I go to Japan, I went to Japan and I take a lot of took a lot of pictures for Fuji Mountain and that's the reason.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel abroad. For example, I went to Japan and took a lot of pictures of Mount Fuji, and that's the reason.

Multiple tense and form errors: 'when I on traveling abroad' is ungrammatical — use present simple 'when I travel abroad' for habitual action (Grammar Problem Type 6). Mixing 'I go to Japan, I went to Japan' confuses tense; choose past 'I went to Japan' to state a past trip (Grammar Problem Type 5). 'I take a lot of took a lot of pictures' duplicates and mixes present and past — use past 'took a lot of pictures' to match 'I went' (Grammar Problem Type 5). 'Fuji Mountain' is better as 'Mount Fuji' and use 'of' with 'pictures of Mount Fuji' (Grammar Problem Type 11). Suggestion: keep consistent tense, remove duplicated words, and fix preposition and noun order.

× I prefer the views of urban area because I love buildings, especially in at night, the scenery is really breathtaking.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because I love buildings. Especially at night, the scenery is really breathtaking.

Errors: 'the views of urban area' should be 'views in urban areas' to use correct preposition and plural form (Grammar Problem Type 11 and 1). 'in at night' is incorrect; use 'at night' (Grammar Problem Type 11). Also split into two sentences for clarity (Grammar Problem Type 26). Suggestion: use correct prepositions ('in' for areas, 'at' for times) and match plurality.

× And yeah personally I love urban areas view.

✓ And yeah, personally I love urban area views.

'urban areas view' is incorrect word order and agreement: use 'urban area views' or better 'urban views' to match plurality and natural order (Grammar Problem Type 1). Suggestion: say 'I love urban views' or 'I love views of urban areas'.

× Umm personally I love on the views in other countries because it's really fresh, because I really familiar with my own country and I think it's kind of boring and and and viewing some views in other countries mainly helps me.

✓ Umm, personally I love the views in other countries because they feel fresh. I'm very familiar with my own country and I think it can be a bit boring, so seeing views in other countries helps me.

Several tense and grammar issues: 'I love on the views' — extra preposition 'on' is incorrect (Grammar Problem Type 11); use 'I love the views'. 'it's really fresh' should agree in number with 'views' so use 'they feel fresh' (Grammar Problem Type 13 and 27 subject-verb agreement). 'I really familiar' misses the verb 'am' — use 'I'm very familiar' (Grammar Problem Type 6). Repetition 'and and and' should be reduced and 'viewing some views in other countries mainly helps me' is awkward; 'seeing views in other countries helps me' is clearer (Grammar Problem Type 26). Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement, include necessary linking verbs, remove extra words, and choose natural collocations like 'seeing views' or 'visiting places'.