Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and avoid filler sounds. Use one or two specific reasons and a short example. Also keep it under five sentences. Fix errors like “I really enjoy” and “views represent different emotions.”

例: Yes, I do. I really enjoy photographing landscapes such as mountains and the sea because each scene can evoke a different emotion. For example, a calm sea often makes me feel peaceful, while a mountain sunrise feels inspiring, so I like to capture those moments to remember them.

提案: Clarify the preference and use correct vocabulary. Avoid misused words (e.g., ‘condescending’ is wrong) and reduce hesitations. Begin with a direct statement (I prefer…), give two specific reasons, and connect them with linking words such as ‘because’ or ‘and’.

例: I prefer rural views because there are more plants and open spaces, and the lakes and trees are very relaxing. For instance, walking by a quiet lake in the countryside helps me unwind after a busy week.

提案: Make your response direct and coherent. Avoid generalizations like “most of us” unless you can specify, and correct grammar: use ‘seen them’ not ‘seen’ and ‘enjoy’ not ‘enjoying’ in this context. State your preference, give a reason, and provide a concrete example of a country or scene you’d like to see.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they feel new and different from what I see at home. For example, I would love to visit South Africa to photograph its coastal cliffs and unique wildlife, which I haven’t seen before.

× Uh yes I do, I really enjoying taking pictures of different views like mountains or seas cause different views represents different kind of emotions and the feelings so I think it's really memorable.

✓ Uh yes I do, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views like mountains or seas because different views represent different kinds of emotions and feelings, so I think it's really memorable.

The student used the incorrect verb form 'enjoying' after 'I really'; the base form 'enjoy' is required (verb + base after 'I'). Also 'represents' does not agree with the plural subject 'views' so it should be 'represent' (subject-verb agreement). 'Different kind' should be 'different kinds' to match plural 'emotions', and 'cause' is informal; use 'because'. Combine 'the feelings' to just 'feelings' for natural phrasing. Suggestions: use base verb after auxiliary or simple present ('I really enjoy'), ensure subject-verb agreement ('views represent'), and match singular/plural nouns ('different kinds of emotions').

× Well, I really enjoying the views of condescending 'cause they're a lot of, uh, plants, uh, surrounded by the houses and also the lakes and the trees are really relaxing.

✓ Well, I really enjoy the views of the countryside because there are a lot of plants surrounding the houses, and also the lakes and the trees are really relaxing.

Again 'really enjoying' should be 'really enjoy' (use base verb for simple present). 'Condescending' is incorrect word choice; likely the student meant 'countryside'. 'They're a lot of' is ungrammatical; use 'there are a lot of' (There be issue and subject-verb agreement). 'Surrounded by the houses' is awkward; use 'surrounding the houses' or 'around the houses'. Suggestions: use appropriate vocabulary ('countryside'), correct 'there are' for existence, and use base verb forms in present tense ('I enjoy').

× Uh, well, you know, most of us are tired of our own countries, uh, views 'cause we have been seen for a long time.

✓ Uh, well, you know, most of us are tired of the views of our own country because we have seen them for a long time.

The phrase 'have been seen' is incorrect passive/reflexive use here; the intended meaning is that we have seen the views for a long time, so use the present perfect active 'have seen'. 'Our own countries, views' is awkward: use 'the views of our own country' or 'the views in our own country'. Also 'them' is needed to refer back to 'views'. Suggestions: use present perfect active for experiences ('we have seen them'), correct noun phrase order ('views of our own country'), and include pronoun to avoid repetition.'

× So, uh, if I have time, maybe I'll choose to, to travel around the world and enjoying the, the views of our countries like uh, South Africa or something else.

✓ So, uh, if I have time, maybe I'll choose to travel around the world and enjoy the views of other countries like, uh, South Africa or somewhere else.

After 'choose to' the verb should be in the base form 'travel' and after 'and' coordinating verbs should match: use 'enjoy' not 'enjoying' (verb + -ing issue). 'The views of our countries' is inconsistent with context; student means 'other countries' or 'other countries' views', so change to 'the views of other countries'. 'Something else' is vague; 'somewhere else' is more natural. Suggestions: use base verb after 'choose to' and keep parallel verb forms after 'and' ('travel and enjoy'), and use 'other countries' for clarity.