Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with correct tense and word order. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "for the lifetime" → "as memories"). Use linking words like "so" or "and" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, when I visit parks, mountains, or beaches I take pictures to keep memories and later share them with my family and friends, so they can see where I have been.

提案: Clarify your preference and avoid contradicting statements. Use correct vocabulary (urban vs rural) and consistent tense. Give one clear reason with a specific example and use linking words for coherence.

例: I prefer rural areas because they have more greenery and fresh air, which helps me relax. In contrast, urban areas are often crowded and noisy, so I feel uncomfortable there.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar (stay with → stay in, saw → see). Give one or two specific examples and explain briefly why they matter. Keep responses within 3–4 sentences and use linking words like "for example" and "because".

例: I prefer views in my own country because it offers a wide variety of landscapes. For example, we have beautiful mountains and clean beaches with fresh air, which makes traveling at home very enjoyable.

× Whenever I visited new places, for example like parks, mountains, beach, I'd like to take pictures of there to get a memory for the lifetime and I'll show later to my friends and family where I visited places.

✓ Whenever I visit new places, for example parks, mountains, or beaches, I like to take pictures there to keep memories for a lifetime and I will show them later to my friends and family of the places I visited.

The original mixes past and habitual present tenses incorrectly ('visited' with 'I'd like'). Use present simple 'visit' and 'like' to express a habitual action. 'For example like' is redundant; use 'for example' or just list items. 'Beach' should be plural 'beaches' to match general reference. 'Take pictures of there' is unnatural; use 'take pictures there'. 'Get a memory for the lifetime' is incorrect idiom; use 'keep memories for a lifetime'. 'I'll show later to my friends and family where I visited places' has word order problems; use 'I will show them later to my friends and family of the places I visited.' Suggestion: keep tense consistent (present simple for habitual actions), simplify phrases, and fix plural nouns and word order.

× I'd like to take pictures of there to get a memory for the lifetime and I'll show later to my friends and family where I visited places.

✓ I like to take pictures there to keep memories for a lifetime and I will show them later to my friends and family of the places I visited.

The phrase 'take pictures of there' uses an incorrect preposition; use 'take pictures there'. 'Show later to my friends' has incorrect preposition placement and missing object; use 'show them later to my friends and family'. 'Where I visited places' is redundant; 'of the places I visited' is correct. Suggestion: place prepositions and objects in natural order and avoid redundant words.

× for example like parks, mountains, beach,

✓ for example parks, mountains, or beaches,

The list mixes singular 'beach' with plural 'parks' and 'mountains'. Use parallel plural forms ('beaches') and remove redundant 'like' after 'for example'. Suggestion: keep list items in the same grammatical number and use 'or' for alternatives.

× Yeah, In my opinion, I would like urban areas because it was very greenery places and fresh air and it was very relaxation.

✓ Yes. In my opinion, I prefer urban areas because they have a lot of greenery and fresh air and are very relaxing.

The original uses past tense 'was' incorrectly when describing a general present characteristic; use present tense 'have'/'are'. 'I would like urban areas' is unnatural for preference; use 'I prefer urban areas'. 'Very greenery places' is incorrect adjective-noun order; use 'a lot of greenery' or 'green places'. 'Very relaxation' is wrong word form; use the adjective 'relaxing'. Suggestion: use present tense for general statements, correct noun/adjective forms, and use natural verbs for preferences.

× In urban area, there are very crowded places, crowded cities, the population was very high, so I can't even breathe there.

✓ In urban areas there are many crowded places and cities; the population is very high, so I can't even breathe there.

Use plural 'urban areas' to match generalization. 'There are very crowded places, crowded cities' is redundant; streamline. 'The population was very high' uses past tense; use present 'is' for current facts. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent tense when making general statements.

× So I'd like to urban areas.

✓ So I prefer urban areas.

'Like to' followed by a noun phrase is incorrect; use 'prefer' or 'like' with a gerund ('like living in urban areas'). 'I'd like to urban areas' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use 'prefer' for stating preference or restructure to 'I'd like to live in urban areas'.

× Well, that's an interesting question, but I would like to stay with my country because in my country there are a lot of places to visit and saw different types of views.

✓ Well, that's an interesting question, but I would like to stay in my country because there are a lot of places to visit and see different types of views.

'Stay with my country' is incorrect preposition; use 'stay in my country'. 'Saw' is past tense while the sentence refers to a general ability; use present infinitive 'see' after 'to'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions and match verb forms for intended meaning.

× For example, like my in my country there are very good mountains, clean beaches and fresh air.

✓ For example, in my country there are excellent mountains, clean beaches, and fresh air.

Remove redundant 'like' and incorrect extra 'my'. Use parallel adjective choices ('excellent mountains') and include commas in the list. 'Very good mountains' is less natural than 'excellent mountains'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary words and keep list items parallel.