Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clear, direct topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct grammar (tense and articles), avoid repetition, and keep it under five sentences. Use linking words (for example, because, and, so) to connect ideas. Also replace unclear phrases like "computer different view" with the intended meaning (e.g. "different kinds of scenes").

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different kinds of scenes because I'm an artist and I like exploring new perspectives. For example, I often take photos at different times of day to capture changes in light and mood, which I later use as references for my paintings.

提案: Start with a direct statement of preference, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Correct unclear vocabulary (e.g. "Billy Baruna") and grammar (articles, plural forms). Avoid filler phrases and keep it concise. Mention concrete examples (fields, hills, quiet streets) to make it specific.

例: I prefer rural areas. They offer wide, peaceful landscapes and simple compositions that I can use as painting references. For instance, I enjoy photographing rolling hills and small farms because the open space and natural light make it easier to capture mood and detail.

提案: Answer directly whether you prefer domestic or international views, then explain why with specific reasons. Use clear vocabulary (e.g. "other countries" instead of "first in countries") and correct sentence structure. Limit to up to five sentences and use linking words such as "because" and "for example." Give concrete examples of what you want to photograph abroad.

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries because I enjoy discovering new cultures and landscapes. For example, I would like to photograph historic streets in Europe and coastal villages in Asia to capture different architectures and atmospheres. Traveling abroad gives me fresh inspiration and new subject matter for my art.

× Yes, I loved a computer different view because I'm an artist, so I really explore some other view or other perspective or time or the view.

✓ Yes, I love different views of computers because I'm an artist, so I really explore other perspectives, times, and viewpoints.

The student used 'loved' which is past tense but context requires present simple 'love' for a general preference. Also word order and noun forms were incorrect: 'a computer different view' should be 'different views of computers' and plural 'perspectives' fits 'other'. Suggestions: use present simple for general likes, place adjectives before nouns, and use plural nouns for general categories.

× So especially I really take a picture different perspectives.

✓ So especially I really take pictures of different perspectives.

The sentence missed the plural for 'picture' and the preposition 'of'. Use 'take pictures' for habitual actions and 'of' to link 'pictures' and 'perspectives'. Also keep consistent verb form 'take' for present habitual actions.

× So yeah, also even if it's the same.

✓ So yeah, I like them even if they are the same.

Original is a fragment lacking a clear subject and verb. Adding 'I like them' clarifies the meaning and changes 'it's' to 'they are' to agree with plural 'views'.

× Actually I like the rural area because I just take a picture for my painting.

✓ Actually I like rural areas because I take pictures for my paintings.

Use plural 'rural areas' when speaking generally and plural 'pictures' and 'paintings' for habitual activities. 'Just' is unnecessary; remove or place appropriately. Use present simple 'take' for habitual actions.

× The urban area is too complicated.

✓ Urban areas are too complicated.

When making a general statement, use plural nouns 'urban areas' rather than 'the urban area'. This matches the general preference being discussed.

× The Billy Baruna are at the high sky and wide view, so lovely.

✓ The hills/mountains are high and have wide views, so they are lovely.

'The Billy Baruna' is unclear and likely a proper noun; if generic, use correct noun (hills/mountains). 'At the high sky' is incorrect—use 'are high' and 'have wide views'. Also add 'they are' to form a complete sentence. Suggest replacing unclear names with correct nouns or keep capitalization if it's a place name.

× So I love prepare.

✓ So I love preparing.

After 'love', gerund (verb + -ing) is required when expressing enjoyment of an activity: 'love preparing'. Use the -ing form for activities enjoyed.

× I prefer taking picture rural area.

✓ I prefer taking pictures in rural areas.

Need plural 'pictures' and preposition 'in' before 'rural areas'. Use plural for general statements. Also word order: 'taking pictures in rural areas' is natural.

× So yeah, that is my opinion. So is this person.

✓ So yeah, that is my opinion. What about you?

'So is this person' is unclear and ungrammatical. Replace with a relevant follow-up question like 'What about you?' to engage the examiner. Ensure sentences are complete and meaningful.

× Add Europe, explore other countries.

✓ I'd like to add Europe; I want to explore other countries.

The original fragments lack subjects and verbs. Use 'I'd like to add' or 'I want to' to make full sentences, and maintain correct verb tense. Use semicolon or two sentences for clarity.

× Actually I feel like it's boring first in countries.

✓ Actually I feel like it's boring to stay only in my own country.

Original is unclear and ungrammatical. Use infinitive 'to stay' to express purpose and clarify meaning: 'boring to stay only in my own country'. Maintain present simple 'feel' for current opinion.

× So I think I want to explore other country and take a picture and try to join different view and different times.

✓ So I think I want to explore other countries, take pictures, and try to capture different views at different times.

Use plural 'countries' and 'take pictures' for habitual activities. 'Try to join different view' is incorrect; use 'try to capture different views'. Use parallel structure with gerunds/infinitives and include preposition 'at' before 'different times'.

× So I want to try to other country vibe.

✓ So I want to try experiencing the vibe of other countries.

Use 'try to experience' or 'try experiencing' plus 'the vibe of other countries'. 'Try to other country vibe' omits necessary verbs and prepositions. Use plural 'countries' for generalization.