Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 표현을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 다듬으세요. 주제 문장으로 바로 대답한 뒤, 구체적인 이유와 예시를 한두 문장으로 연결해서 말하면 더 논리적입니다. 예를 들어 “pictures last” 대신 “photos preserve memories” 같은 자연스러운 표현을 쓰고, 하늘의 색 변화를 설명할 때는 linking word(예: for example, such as)를 적절히 활용하세요. 또한 ‘take picture’ → ‘take pictures’, 어순과 관사 사용을 주의하세요.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy taking pictures because photos preserve memories, and I especially like photographing the sky. For example, at sunrise and sunset the sky changes color from blue to pink, which creates beautiful contrasts.

提案: 의미는 명확하지만 문법과 연결어 사용을 개선하세요. 주제 문장 후 구체적 이유를 1–2문장으로 나누어 자연스럽게 연결하면 좋습니다. 예를 들어 ‘feeling next to the nature’는 ‘being close to nature’로, ‘the greenness relaxes my brain and my eyes’는 ‘the greenery is relaxing’으로 간결하게 수정하세요. 또한 마지막에 ‘and I like the friendliness’ 대신 ‘and the people tend to be friendlier’처럼 구체적 비교를 제시하세요.

例: I prefer rural areas because I like being close to nature. The greenery is very relaxing for both my mind and my eyes, and people in villages often seem friendlier than in big cities.

提案: 문법과 표현 오류가 많고 문장이 불완전합니다. 먼저 명확한 주제 문장으로 시작하고 이유를 구체적으로 제시하세요. ‘can be a extraordinary experience’는 관사와 형용사 형태 오류(‘an extraordinary experience’)를 고치고, ‘it is not used to me’는 ‘I’m not used to them’ 또는 ‘they are unfamiliar to me’로 수정하세요. 반복된 ‘it's it's’는 제거하세요. 예시나 구체적 경험 한두 개를 덧붙이면 더 설득력 있습니다.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they feel new and different to me. For example, seeing architecture or landscapes that I’m not used to can be an extraordinary experience and helps me learn about other cultures.

× Yes, I really like taking pictures of the views because I think only pictures last.

✓ Yes, I really like taking pictures of views because I think only pictures last.

The phrase 'pictures of the views' is grammatically acceptable but slightly awkward; 'pictures of views' is more natural. No -ing error here; however original phrase 'taking pictures' is correct. Suggestion: use 'views' without 'the' for general meaning. Note: This entry addresses preference for phrasing rather than a strict '-ing' error.

× So I especially like to take picture of the sky because it has a lot of different colors such as sometimes blue and sometimes pink.

✓ So I especially like taking pictures of the sky because it has a lot of different colors, sometimes blue and sometimes pink.

Use the gerund 'taking' after 'like' for natural expression and plural 'pictures' when speaking generally. Also remove 'such as' before examples and use a comma. Suggestion: say 'I especially like taking pictures of the sky'.

× I prefer rural areas because I like feeling next to the nature and the greenness relaxes my brain and my eyes so and I like the friendliness in the rural area.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I like being close to nature, and the greenness relaxes my mind and my eyes. I also like the friendliness in rural areas.

Use 'close to nature' or 'near nature' rather than 'next to the nature'. 'Being' (gerund) is needed after 'like' for the activity. 'Mind' is more natural than 'brain' in this context. Use plural 'rural areas' for general meaning and separate ideas into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: replace 'the nature' with 'nature' and use 'being close to'.

× I prefer views in other countries because in my country I can see them every day.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because in my country I can see them every day.

This sentence is correct; no article error. Keeping it for completeness.

× But going to another country can be a extraordinary experience for me.

✓ But going to another country can be an extraordinary experience for me.

Use the article 'an' before a word beginning with a vowel sound ('extraordinary'). Suggestion: Change 'a' to 'an'.

× And because it is not used to me, it's it's.

✓ And because I am not used to it, it is.

The correct structure is 'be used to' meaning accustomed to: use 'I am not used to it'. 'It is' completes the sentence; avoid repeating 'it's'. Suggestion: say 'I am not used to it.'