Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more confident and give a clear, direct response. Start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words like "uh" and incomplete clauses.

例: No, I don't enjoy taking photos of views. For example, I find it distracting to pause and frame shots when I'm trying to relax, and I prefer to remember scenes with my own memories rather than photographs.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and support it with specific details and a linking word. Correct grammar (e.g. "rural areas make me"), avoid short hesitations, and expand slightly with an example or reason.

例: I prefer rural views because they allow me to experience the beauty of nature and quiet surroundings. For instance, walking through the countryside lets me see wide fields and birds that I never notice in the city.

提案: Provide a clear stance and a concise explanation. Start with a topic sentence such as "It depends," then explain two contrasting reasons using linking words (e.g. "on the one hand... on the other hand..."). Avoid repetition and ensure sentences are grammatical and specific.

例: It depends. On the one hand, I enjoy views in my country because Japan has diverse natural landscapes nearby, such as mountains and coastal areas. On the other hand, I also like views abroad when I travel, because different countries offer unique cultures and scenery that I can't see at home.

× Uh, actually I don't like, uh, taking pictures because. Uh, I don't know the reasons.

✓ Uh, actually I don't like taking pictures because I don't know the reason.

The original has a fragmented sentence and redundancy. 'Because.' ends the clause prematurely and 'the reasons' is too plural and vague here; use 'the reason' or 'why' after 'because'. Combine fragments into one sentence for clarity. Suggestion: remove extra filler words and connect clauses: 'I don't like taking pictures because I don't know the reason.' This fixes sentence structure issues (type 26) and article/number usage (type 1/22).

× Uh, differently. I like views in the rural areas because uh, rural areas can makes me experience the beauty of nature.

✓ I prefer rural views because rural areas let me experience the beauty of nature.

'Differently' is the wrong word for answering preference; 'I prefer' is correct. 'The rural areas' is overly specific; use 'rural views' or 'rural areas' without 'the'. 'Can makes' is ungrammatical: modal 'can' should be followed by base verb 'make' not 'makes'. Also 'make me experience' is awkward; 'let me experience' or 'allow me to experience' is better. This addresses verb form (type 8/9) and article/word choice (type 22/13/26).

× Uh, I think that is depends on situation.

✓ I think that depends on the situation.

'Is depends' is wrong because 'depend' does not take 'is' (verb tense error and auxiliary misuse). Use simple present 'depends'. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'situation'. This fixes verb tense/auxiliary issues (type 6/26) and article use (type 22).

× Uh, because Japan, Japan has in my country has Japan has umm, big teenage boat in the few in the, in the field called nature.

✓ Because in my country, Japan has many natural areas that are large and scenic.

The original is repetitive and contains unintelligible phrases ('big teenage boat', 'in the few'). Rephrase to convey intended meaning: use 'many natural areas' or 'large natural areas'. Fix repetition ('Japan' repeated) and incorrect nouns. This addresses sentence structure and word choice errors (type 26/13).

× Uh, there are many places around Japan.

✓ There are many places like that across Japan.

The original is mostly acceptable but vague. 'Around Japan' can be misread; 'across Japan' is clearer. This improves preposition choice (type 11) and clarity without changing tense.