Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more concise and natural by using one clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., "when I travel" twice) and use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "because", "for example"). Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., "scenery" or "landscapes" instead of repeating "pictures").

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially when I visit a place for the first time. For example, when I travel I like to capture unique cityscapes or natural landscapes because they remind me of the mood and culture of that place.

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity: use correct nouns (e.g., "buildings"), subject-verb agreement, and avoid filler words like "uh". Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example using a linking word such as "because" or "for example".

例: I prefer urban views because cityscapes are intentionally designed and often more interesting to photograph. For example, I like capturing architectural details and planned plazas that reflect a city's history and style.

提案: Correct vocabulary and sentence completion: use "buildings" and finish sentences fully. Provide a clear topic sentence comparing countries, give a concrete example (e.g., specific city or architectural style), and use a linking phrase like "for example" or "especially" to add detail. Avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: I prefer buildings in other countries to those in Japan, especially Western architecture, because the styles and details are different. For example, living in Toronto I enjoy photographing historic stone buildings and modern glass towers side by side, which creates more variety in my photos.

× Especially I like pictures when I travel, when I travel the place I visit for the first time.

✓ I especially like pictures I take when I travel, especially of places I visit for the first time.

The original sentence has awkward word order and repetition; verb tense is present simple which is fine, but the phrasing 'when I travel the place I visit' is ungrammatical. Reorder to 'I especially like pictures I take when I travel' and use 'places I visit for the first time' to make the meaning clear. Suggestion: place modifiers next to the nouns they describe and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× I prefer builds in urban areas to rural areas because the landscape in urban areas are designed by humans, so they are.

✓ I prefer buildings in urban areas to those in rural areas because the landscapes in urban areas are designed by humans.

'Builds' is not correct; use the plural noun 'buildings'. Compare 'buildings in urban areas to those in rural areas' to avoid repeating 'areas'. 'Landscape' should be plural 'landscapes' to match 'areas' or you can keep singular with different structure. Also keep verb agreement: 'landscapes... are designed'. Remove the fragment 'so they are' which is unclear.

× I think there is an intention, so I feel like, uh, I like it.

✓ I think there is an intention behind the design, so I like it.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains fillers. Clarify 'intention' by adding 'behind the design' and connect the clauses clearly: 'so I like it.' This fixes structure and makes the idea coherent.

× I prefer bills in other countries to those in Japan.

✓ I prefer buildings in other countries to those in Japan.

'Bills' is a misspelling/misuse; the correct plural noun is 'buildings'. Ensure the noun matches the intended meaning.

× I like the buildings in other countries, especially Western countries, and currently when I live in Toronto and there are a lot of beautiful buildings, I like the.

✓ I like the buildings in other countries, especially in Western countries, and now that I live in Toronto, there are many beautiful buildings I like.

The original mixes tenses and has incomplete clause 'I like the.' Use present simple for general likes: 'I like the buildings...' For the current situation, use 'now that I live in Toronto' or 'currently, I live in Toronto' and complete the sentence: 'there are many beautiful buildings I like.' This corrects tense consistency and completes the thought.