Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, umm), correct minor grammar (e.g., 'different places', 'interested in photography'), and add one specific detail to enrich your answer. Use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel with friends. For example, I often photograph scenic landscapes like mountains or coastal sunsets because they capture the mood of the trip. I also take candid shots of my friends to remember the moments.

提案: Open with a direct topic sentence, remove fillers and repetition, fix grammar (e.g., 'beautiful sunsets', 'landscapes', 'go deeper into rural areas'), and give a specific example or comparison. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to structure your answer.

例: I prefer photographing rural areas because they offer peaceful landscapes and dramatic sunsets. For example, when I visit the countryside I often find small lakes and rolling fields that make great photos, whereas cities often feel too busy for the type of images I like.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'I've seen most places in my country since childhood', 'I like to see different landscapes and architecture abroad'), and add one concrete example of what you enjoy abroad. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I have visited most places in my own country since childhood. For example, I love noticing different architectural styles and street scenes in Europe or Asia, which inspire me to take photos I can't get at home.

× I like to take pictures of uh, different views, especially when I travel to different place with my friends.

✓ I like to take pictures of different views, especially when I travel to different places with my friends.

The noun 'place' should be plural 'places' because 'different' implies more than one. Use plural to match meaning and maintain subject-verb agreement with countable nouns.

× I usually take the scenery or if there is any beautiful ways around umm.

✓ I usually take pictures of the scenery or of any beautiful ways around.

The verb 'take' is fine, but the object needs correction. 'Scenery' is uncountable and does not need 'the' necessarily but 'the scenery' is acceptable; 'ways' is countable so use plural with 'any'. Also include 'pictures of' to clarify the action. This fixes noun form and sentence clarity.

× Also I take pictures of myself and my friends.

✓ Also, I take pictures of my friends and myself.

Order 'my friends and myself' is more natural in English. 'Myself' is a reflexive pronoun used correctly here for emphasis, but placing it second follows conventional politeness and word order.

× Umm, I'm actually a little bit interested in taking photography.

✓ I'm actually a little bit interested in photography.

Use noun 'photography' without 'taking'. 'Taking photography' is unidiomatic; say 'interested in photography' or 'interested in taking photographs'. Removing 'taking' creates a natural phrase.

× I prefer taking pictures of our rural areas, mainly because, uh, we can see a beautiful sunset or a landscapes, uh, in rural areas and, umm, if you go into more deep into the more inside of the rural areas, we can find, umm, some lakes or ponds and, and.

✓ I prefer taking pictures of rural areas, mainly because we can see beautiful sunsets or landscapes there, and if you go deeper into the countryside, you can find lakes or ponds.

Multiple issues: 'our rural areas' is okay but 'rural areas' is more natural. 'a beautiful sunset' should be plural 'beautiful sunsets' to match general statement; 'a landscapes' is incorrect—use 'landscapes' without article. 'go into more deep into the more inside' is ungrammatical; use 'go deeper into the countryside'. Also change 'we can find' to 'you can find' for general statements or keep 'we' consistently. Simplify to improve clarity and correct pluralization.

× I prefer views in other countries because in my country I have seen most places since my childhood.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I have seen most places in my country since my childhood.

Word order: place 'since my childhood' after the clause is fine; main issue is clarity. 'Most places' is acceptable plural. Moving 'in my country' earlier or later is stylistic; corrected sentence places adverbial phrase 'in my country' next to 'places' for clarity.

× So I prefer other countries so that I can view different places and the landscapes or the houses, how different vividly the city looks like the facility.

✓ So I prefer other countries so that I can see different places and landscapes or houses, and observe how the city looks different and its facilities.

Original sentence contains awkward phrasing 'how different vividly the city looks like the facility.' Corrections: use 'see' instead of 'view' for naturalness, remove redundant 'the' before 'landscapes', and restructure to 'observe how the city looks different and its facilities' to convey meaning clearly. 'Looks like' was incorrectly used; use 'looks different' or 'is different'.