Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Pronunciation, accuracy and clarity need improvement. Keep answers concise and correct mistakes (e.g., "taping" → "taking"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also avoid vague or unclear phrases ("that Ghana").

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel. For example, I often photograph unique landscapes or city skylines because they help me remember the trip; when I look at the photos later, they bring back good memories.

提案: Good idea and clear preference, but grammar and cohesion need tightening. Use correct verb forms and linking words (because, so, therefore). Limit to up to five sentences and add one specific detail or example to support your preference.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I live in a crowded city with buildings everywhere. For instance, open fields and fresh air in the countryside help me relax after a busy week, so I often visit parks or farmland to unwind.

提案: Clear idea but reduce fillers (uh), fix grammar and use more precise vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence and give one specific contrasting detail or reason why both are enjoyable. Use linking words (because, although) to make it coherent.

例: I enjoy views both in my own country and abroad because each place offers something different. For example, local landscapes remind me of home, whereas foreign scenery exposes me to new cultures and environments, which makes me feel refreshed and inspired.

× Of course, I like taping pictures of different views a lot, especially when I am traveling, I like to take in the pictures of the view that I haven't seen before because that Ghana left very good memories for you when I watch them every time.

✓ Of course, I like taking pictures of different views a lot. Especially when I am traveling, I like to take pictures of views that I haven't seen before because they leave very good memories for me when I watch them.

Errors: 'taping' is a wrong word choice; the correct verb is 'taking' (verb form error). The original sentence was also run-on and unclear: 'take in the pictures of the view' is unnatural — use 'take pictures of views'. 'that Ghana' appears to be a mistake for 'they' or 'they have'; 'left very good memories for you' has wrong tense and pronoun. Corrected to 'they leave very good memories for me when I watch them' to match present experience. Suggestion: use the gerund 'taking' for photography, break long sentences into shorter ones, ensure pronouns match their antecedents and use present tense for general statements (leave) and 'me' as the correct object pronoun.

× I prefer the views in rural places 'cause I live in the crowded city where the buildings surrounded us everywhere, but the sceneries in rural places that's always the open field and fresh air will makes me feel relaxing.

✓ I prefer the views in rural places because I live in a crowded city where buildings surround us everywhere, and the scenery in rural places, which is always open fields with fresh air, makes me feel relaxed.

Errors: 'surrounded us' is incorrect tense and voice; use present simple 'surround' to describe a general fact (subject-verb agreement and tense). 'sceneries' is an uncountable or collective noun here — 'scenery' is correct. 'that's always the open field and fresh air' is ungrammatical: use relative clause 'which is always open fields with fresh air'. 'will makes' mixes future/auxiliary and third-person singular incorrectly; correct is 'makes' (subject-verb agreement) and adjective 'relaxed' instead of 'relaxing' to describe how the speaker feels. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual facts, ensure verbs agree with their subjects, and choose correct noun forms (scenery) and adjectives for feelings.

× Actually, I like uh, the views in the different places, no matter for it's in in my country or the others 'cause every time I traveled in different places, I can enjoy the beautiful sceneries. It will makes me new and fresh.

✓ Actually, I like the views in different places, whether they are in my country or in other countries, because every time I travel to different places, I can enjoy the beautiful scenery. It makes me feel refreshed and new.

Errors: 'the views in the different places' has unnecessary article 'the' and awkward phrasing; remove 'the' and 'different' is enough. 'no matter for it's in in my country or the others' is ungrammatical — use 'whether they are in my country or in other countries' (pronoun reference and preposition use). 'every time I traveled' uses past tense incorrectly; use present simple 'travel' for habitual action. 'sceneries' should be 'scenery' (noun form). 'It will makes me new and fresh' mixes future auxiliary and incorrect verb form and idiom; correct to 'It makes me feel refreshed and new.' Suggestion: use 'whether' to present alternatives, maintain consistent present tense for habitual actions, pick correct noun forms and idiomatic expressions for feelings.