Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid hesitations and incorrect word choices (e.g. "anesthetic" → "aesthetic"). Add one or two concise supporting details with linking words to explain why you enjoy it. Keep answers to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because I have an aesthetic sensibility and notice beauty everywhere. For example, I often photograph sunsets and cityscapes to capture color and mood. Also, taking photos helps me relax and remember special moments.

提案: Make your answer more grammatical and specific. Use a clear topic sentence, correct plurals and articles (e.g. "the big tall buildings" → "big, tall buildings"). Use linking words like "because" and "for example" and give a concrete example of what you photograph. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I definitely prefer rural areas because there are no big, tall buildings blocking the sky and the landscapes are more open. For example, I enjoy photographing rolling hills and rivers at sunrise because the light is beautiful and unobstructed.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar, and be specific. Begin with a direct statement, use correct verb agreement ("are new"), and replace unclear phrases ("create my car") with a clear idea. Add one specific example of a landmark and why you like it. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different landmarks and cultures that I haven't seen before. For example, I love the scenery in Italy, especially the coastal towns and historic architecture, which I enjoy photographing because of their unique colors and textures.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views. Uh, because I am an, I'm an anesthetic type of person. I see beautiful, gorgeous things in everything and umm.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views. Uh, because I am an aesthetic type of person. I see beautiful, gorgeous things in everything.

The student used 'anesthetic' (relating to anesthesia) instead of the correct adjective 'aesthetic' (relating to beauty). Use 'aesthetic' to describe someone who appreciates beauty. Also remove redundant article and repetition 'an, I'm an' and the trailing filler 'umm' for clarity. Suggestion: learn commonly confused words and proofread for filler words and repetitions.

× Definitely I prefer rural rural areas because there is no big tall buildings that covers the view the sky.

✓ Definitely I prefer rural areas because there are no big tall buildings that cover the view of the sky.

Plural nouns and verb must agree: 'buildings' is plural so use 'there are' not 'there is'. Also use plural verb 'cover' to match 'buildings'. Include preposition 'of' in 'view of the sky'. Remove duplicate 'rural'. Suggestion: check subject-verb agreement and avoid repeated words.

× Also in rural rural areas a lot of beautiful nature that I can't take photo.

✓ Also in rural areas there is a lot of beautiful nature that I can't photograph.

The phrase 'a lot of beautiful nature' needs a verb: use 'there is' for existence. 'Take photo' is incorrect; use the verb 'photograph' or the phrase 'take photos' (plural). Remove duplicated 'rural'. Suggestion: use correct verb collocations (take photos/photograph) and include appropriate auxiliary for existence.

× I prefer views in other countries because there is a lot of different landmarks that is new for me.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because there are a lot of different landmarks that are new to me.

'A lot of different landmarks' is plural, so use 'there are' (existence) and 'are' for the relative clause, not 'is'. Also use 'new to me' rather than 'new for me'. Suggestion: match 'there be' form with plural subjects and use 'new to' when expressing novelty to oneself.

× For example, I love Italy, feels this is one of the most beautiful views and I create my car.

✓ For example, I love Italy; I feel it has some of the most beautiful views, and I picture driving my car there.

The original is ungrammatical: 'feels this is' should be 'I feel it has' or 'it feels like', and 'one of the most beautiful views' needs a clear antecedent (views of Italy). 'I create my car' is incorrect and likely intended to express imagining driving; 'I picture driving my car there' is a natural expression. Suggestion: use clear subjects for opinion verbs (I feel/I think) and choose appropriate verbs for imagining (picture/imagine).