Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and natural but a bit short and lacks supporting detail. Add a brief reason and an example using a linking word to make it more complete and coherent (keep under 4–5 sentences). Avoid vague phrases like "enhance the moment" without explaining what you mean.

例: Not really — I'm not into photography because I prefer to enjoy experiences directly rather than view them through a lens. For example, when I visit a concert I focus on the music and atmosphere rather than taking photos, so I feel more connected to the moment.

提案: Good specific preference and mention of your hometown. Improve by using a topic sentence, one linking word, and a bit more vivid detail (e.g., colours, sounds, or why you like it). Remove minor grammar issues and avoid redundant phrases like "in there."

例: I prefer rural areas, especially around my hometown, UMM, because I enjoy the peaceful scenery. For instance, there's a spot with rolling green hills and small wooden cottages where you can hear birdsong and see mountains on the horizon, which helps me relax.

提案: Your idea is clear but the sentence is long, repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, use a linking word to contrast ideas, and give a concise reason and example about wanting to see architecture abroad. Aim for two to three well-formed sentences.

例: I like the views in my own country because it has many beautiful places, but I would also like to travel abroad to see foreign architecture. For example, I hope to visit Europe to admire historic cathedrals and modern design in cities like Barcelona.

× I prefer to be present and enhance the moment.

✓ I prefer to be present and enjoy the moment.

The phrase 'enhance the moment' is awkward in this context; 'enhance' is not ungrammatical but collocationally odd. Replacing it with 'enjoy' uses a simple verb that fits the intended meaning (being mentally present and appreciating the moment). No tense or form change is required; this improves naturalness and clarity.

× There's a particular place that you can see a lot of mountains and little cottages in there.

✓ There's a particular place where you can see many mountains and small cottages.

The original has a redundant prepositional phrase 'in there' and uses 'a lot of' which is informal and less precise. Use 'where' to introduce the relative clause instead of ending with 'in there'. Also change 'a lot of' to 'many' and 'little' to 'small' for more natural adjective choice.

× Of course I like my country and I think there's a lot of glamorous places to see, but in the future there's in my plan that that I want to see a lot of other countries go abroad and see architecture.

✓ Of course I like my country and I think there are many glamorous places to see, but in the future I plan to go abroad and visit many other countries to see their architecture.

This sentence has multiple structural issues: incorrect use of 'there's' with plural noun (use 'there are' — subject-verb agreement), redundant and misplaced phrases ('there's in my plan that that I'), and mixed infinitive and clause forms ('want to see a lot of other countries go abroad' is ungrammatical). The correction fixes subject-verb agreement, removes redundancy, uses 'plan to' for future intent, and clarifies the purpose 'to see their architecture.' 'Many' is preferred over 'a lot of' in formal speech.