Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid grammatical errors and unclear phrases (e.g., "photography's hair locking happy"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" for coherence and keep the response within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph sunrises and sunsets because the colours are beautiful and they help me remember special moments. I also like posting a few of my best shots on social media to share them with friends.

提案: Make your answer direct and fix repetition and tense errors. Begin with a clear preference sentence, then give a concise reason with a specific example. Use linking words such as "because" or "for example" and avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the city skyline and night lights. For example, from a rooftop you can see the buildings and busy streets, which look impressive at dusk.

提案: Correct obvious word choice and grammar mistakes and be specific. Start with a clear statement of preference, then give two specific reasons and one example. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" and correct plural/singular and article use.

例: I prefer views in my own country because there are many beautiful places close by. For example, we have lovely beaches, high mountains and several historic parks that I like to visit and photograph.

× I enjoy sharing pictures on social media with friends and photography's hair locking happy for me.

✓ I enjoy sharing pictures on social media with friends, and photography makes me happy.

The phrase 'photography's hair locking happy for me' is incorrect word choice and structure. 'Photography's' is a possessive form not needed here; the intended meaning is that photography makes the student happy. Replace with 'photography makes me happy' to use a correct verb phrase. Also add a comma and coordinating conjunction to join the two ideas. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× I prepare, I preparing prepare views in urban areas because of the city views, like if you're in a rooftop, you can see, you can see the city, city lights.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because of the cityscape; for example, from a rooftop you can see the city lights.

The original sentence uses incorrect verb forms ('prepare' and 'preparing') instead of 'prefer' and repeats phrases. Use 'prefer' to express preference (present tense). 'City views' is acceptable but 'cityscape' and 'city lights' are clearer. Remove repeated phrases and restructure into a concise sentence. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× I prefer abusing my country because a lot of a lot of beautiful place there like example beautiful beaches, mountains and I start as historical park.

✓ I prefer my own country because there are many beautiful places, such as beaches, mountains, and historical parks.

The original uses 'abusing' which is the wrong word; likely intended 'about' or 'in', but the correct phrase is 'prefer my own country'. There are several errors: 'a lot of a lot of' is redundant, 'beautiful place' should be plural 'places', 'like example' is ungrammatical—use 'such as' or 'for example', and 'I start as historical park' is incorrect—should be 'historical parks'. Also add 'there are' to indicate existence of multiple places (there be issue). This correction addresses article and pluralization and word choice. Grammar problem type ID: 1