Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail or reason using a linking word. Keep it to 2–4 sentences. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., 'when I travel', 'good architectural buildings' -> 'interesting architecture').

例: Yes — I love photographing different views whenever I travel. For example, I often capture mountains at sunrise and interesting architecture in city centres, because varied subjects help me practice composition and lighting.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence then support it with specific reasons and linking words; avoid vague phrases and grammatical errors (e.g., 'it consists of' -> 'they offer', 'which makes me enhance' -> 'which helps me improve'). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: I prefer urban views because cities offer diverse subjects. For instance, high‑rise buildings, riverside promenades and landscaped parks give me opportunities to practise framing and capturing reflections, so my photography improves.

提案: Be specific and avoid unclear comparisons. Start with a direct answer, then explain with concrete examples and correct phrasing (e.g., 'more developed' not 'more developing'). Use a linking word like 'however' or 'but'. Keep it concise.

例: I generally prefer views in my own country, but only in certain regions with dramatic landscapes, such as the northern hills. However, I also enjoy visiting other countries because their well‑developed urban centres and historic architecture offer different, striking scenes to photograph.

× Yes, I do love taking pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of different views.

The auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary with 'love' in a positive simple present statement. Use the simple present 'I love' rather than the emphatic 'I do love' unless you want emphasis. Suggestion: say 'I love...' for a natural statement.

× Whenever I go out for traveling, I do like taking pictures with different kinds of views such as mountains, beaches, or whichever is the good architectural building.

✓ Whenever I go out to travel, I like taking pictures of different kinds of views such as mountains, beaches, or interesting architectural buildings.

Use 'go out to travel' or 'go traveling' rather than 'go out for traveling'. Also 'do like' is unnecessary in affirmative present; use 'like'. Use 'taking pictures of' not 'with'. 'Whichever is the good architectural building' is ungrammatical; use 'interesting architectural buildings' or 'notable buildings'. Suggestions: use 'go traveling' or 'go out to travel', 'like', 'pictures of', and plural 'buildings' with an adjective such as 'interesting' or 'notable'.

× I take pictures of everything, each and every detail.

✓ I take pictures of everything, every single detail.

Phrase 'each and every detail' is redundant; 'every single detail' or 'each detail' is more natural. Also the sentence is acceptable but can be more concise. Suggestion: use one emphatic expression rather than both 'each and every'.

× I mostly prefer seeing views in urban areas because it consists of lots of urban infrastructure.

✓ I mostly prefer seeing views in urban areas because they consist of a lot of urban infrastructure.

The subject 'views' is plural, so the verb should be 'consist' (plural) not 'consists'. Also 'lots of urban infrastructure' is better as 'a lot of urban infrastructure' or 'lots of urban infrastructure'. Use 'they' to refer to 'views'.

× High rise buildings, lots of landscaping are there along with the water bodies which makes me enhance my picture taking skills.

✓ There are high-rise buildings, lots of landscaping, and water bodies, which help me improve my picture-taking skills.

The original word order is awkward. Start with 'There are' to list items. Use hyphenated 'high-rise' and 'picture-taking'. 'Which makes me enhance my picture taking skills' is incorrect; use 'which help me improve my picture-taking skills' because plural subject ('buildings, landscaping, and water bodies') requires 'help' and 'improve' is more natural than 'enhance ... skills' in this context.

× I prefer views in my own country, but only in some parts of the country.

✓ I prefer views in my own country, but only in some parts of it.

Repeating 'the country' is awkward; use pronoun 'it'. This is more concise and natural. The sentence is otherwise grammatically fine.

× Apart from that, I like views from other countries because they have been more developing than my country, so I get to see very amazing views.

✓ Apart from that, I like views from other countries because they are more developed than my country, so I get to see amazing scenery.

The phrase 'have been more developing' is incorrect. Use adjective 'more developed' to compare countries' development. Also 'very amazing views' is redundant; 'amazing scenery' or 'very interesting views' is preferable. Use 'are more developed' for present comparison. Suggestion: use comparative adjective 'more developed' and replace 'views' repetition with 'scenery'.