Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, correct vocabulary and simplify sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear words and mixed metaphors. Pronunciation and grammar should be corrected (e.g., "friendly with" → "fond of"; "cast them" → "capture them"; "freeze their memories" → "preserve memories").

例: Yes, I'm fond of photography. Whenever I see a stunning view, I often take out my phone to capture it because photographs help me preserve the memory of places I visit.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer first (urban or rural), then give 1–2 specific reasons linked with connectors. Use correct nouns and adjectives (e.g., "city skylines" not "tower's rail views"). Reduce hesitations and filler words. Keep sentences short and coherent.

例: I prefer rural views because rolling hills and large trees feel more tranquil. For example, I enjoy walking in the countryside where the air is fresher and the scenery is less crowded than city skylines.

提案: Answer directly, correct vocabulary and grammar, and use linking words to expand. Replace unclear phrases ("refer views" → "prefer views"; "architectural stars" → "architectural styles"). Provide a concise reason and a brief example of what you like to see abroad.

例: To be honest, I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy exploring unfamiliar landscapes. For instance, I love seeing different architectural styles and coastal scenery that are very different from what I see at home.

× Yes, I'm quite friendly with photography.

✓ Yes, I'm quite fond of photography.

'Friendly with photography' is incorrect because 'friendly' describes a person-to-person relationship, not a hobby. Use 'fond of' or 'interested in' with 'photography' to express liking something. Suggestion: Use 'fond of photography' or 'interested in photography'.

× Whenever I encounter A stunning VI Vice third, I can't resist taking out my phone to cast them at the moment.

✓ Whenever I encounter a stunning view, I can't resist taking out my phone to capture it.

The original sentence contains multiple garbled words ('A stunning VI Vice third') and incorrect verb 'cast' instead of 'capture'. Correct structure: 'Whenever I encounter a stunning view' and use 'capture it' to refer to the view. Ensure article and noun agree ('a stunning view') and pronoun matches ('it' for singular 'view'). Suggestion: Keep noun phrases clear and use 'capture' for taking photos.

× It's a wonderful way to freeze their memories of their blazes I visited.

✓ It's a wonderful way to freeze memories of places I visited.

The original uses confusing and incorrect words ('their blazes') and mismatched pronouns. Use 'freeze memories' and a clear noun 'places' with correct possessive ('I visited'). Suggestion: Use 'freeze memories of places I visited'.

× I definitely learn tower's rail views, a wide city, skylines can be in practice I find natural landscapes uh light roll rolling hills are quiet, big trees uh much more tranquil and refreshing compared to the concrete triangle or.

✓ I definitely like urban views such as city skylines, but I find natural landscapes — rolling hills and big trees — much more tranquil and refreshing compared to concrete structures.

This sentence is highly ungrammatical and contains wrong words ('learn', 'tower's rail', 'concrete triangle'). The correction clarifies choices and compares urban and natural views. Use 'like' for preference, 'such as' to give examples, and proper nouns ('rolling hills') and comparatives ('more tranquil and refreshing compared to'). Suggestion: Break long ideas into clearer clauses and use correct vocabulary for urban/urban structures.

× To be honest, I refer views in other countries exploring unfamiliar, unfamiliar landscapes.

✓ To be honest, I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy exploring unfamiliar landscapes.

'Refer' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'prefer'. The sentence also lacks a connector and repeats 'unfamiliar'. The corrected sentence uses 'prefer' and adds 'because' to show reason. Suggestion: Use 'prefer' for choices and provide reasons with 'because' or 'as'.

× Give me a sand or water and I love seeing architectural stars or natural features that obviously different from what I see on a daily basis.

✓ Give me sand or water, and I love seeing architectural styles or natural features that are obviously different from what I see daily.

Original has incorrect article usage ('a sand'), wrong word 'stars' instead of 'styles', and missing verb 'are' in the relative clause. Correction fixes article omission for uncountable noun 'sand', uses 'styles', and adds 'are' to complete 'that are different'. Suggestion: Use uncountable nouns without 'a' (sand, water), choose correct nouns ('styles'), and ensure relative clauses include a verb.