Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., 'patience in taking pictures') and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I like exploring various angles and lighting because it helps me create more interesting compositions; in doing so, I practise patience and attention to detail.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and provide two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar and word choice (e.g., 'at night', 'avenues surprise me' or 'are surprising'). Keep sentences shorter and natural.

例: I prefer urban views, especially at night, because the illuminated buildings and busy streets create a vibrant atmosphere. For instance, I enjoy watching people walking by and the neon-lit stores, which often surprise me with unexpected scenes.

提案: Make the answer more direct and grammatically correct. Start with a clear preference, then give one specific reason and a brief example using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like 'which is very real' and restructure the second sentence for clarity.

例: I prefer views in other countries because travel exposes me to different cultures and fresh perspectives. For example, visiting a foreign city once made me rethink my priorities after seeing different lifestyles, whereas in my own country I still enjoy discovering new places close to home.

× I think the process of finding different angles is a way to make the picture more beautiful, and this represents my patience on taking picture.

✓ I think the process of finding different angles is a way to make the picture more beautiful, and this shows my patience in taking pictures.

Use of preposition: 'patience on' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'patience in'. Also 'taking picture' needs plural 'pictures' or an article; 'taking pictures' is natural. 'Represents' is acceptable but 'shows' is more natural here; however it is optional. Suggestion: use 'patience in taking pictures' to be idiomatic.

× I prefer views in urban areas, especially ones in night because I love these buildings, stores, people walking by and the avenues really surprised me.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas, especially at night, because I love the buildings, shops, people walking by, and the avenues really surprise me.

Preposition and time expression: use 'at night' not 'in night'. Word choice: 'stores' is acceptable but 'shops' is more natural; maintain article consistency: 'these buildings' -> 'the buildings' refer generally. Tense/verb agreement: 'surprised me' implies past; since speaking generally, use present simple 'surprise me'. Also list punctuation improved. Suggestion: use 'at night' and present tense for general preferences.

× I would say in the other countries because the experiences of visiting another country can give me a whole new perspective about my life, which is very real.

✓ I would say in other countries because the experience of visiting another country can give me a whole new perspective on my life, which feels very real.

Article use: 'in the other countries' is incorrect; say 'in other countries' for generalization. Count/number: 'the experiences of visiting another country' sounds awkward—use singular 'the experience' for the idea in general. Preposition: use 'perspective on my life' rather than 'about my life'. Word choice: 'which is very real' -> 'which feels very real' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'in other countries' and 'perspective on'.

× In the visiting of my own country also, I like facing new things.

✓ When visiting my own country, I also like encountering new things.

Phrase and preposition: 'In the visiting of my own country' is ungrammatical; use 'When visiting my own country' or 'When I visit my own country'. Verb choice: 'facing new things' is understandable but 'encountering new things' is more natural. Word order: place 'also' near the verb: 'I also like' or 'I like ... also'—here 'I also like encountering new things' is clear. Suggestion: use 'When I visit my own country, I also like encountering new things.'