Museum— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally good but try to avoid repetition such as 'we we'. Also, make your sentences more concise and use linking words to improve coherence. For example, you can say, 'Yes, I believe museums are important because they connect younger generations with the past and help us understand our future.'

例: Yes, I believe museums are important because they connect younger generations with the past and help us understand our future. Moreover, they provide educational opportunities that enrich our knowledge about history and culture.

提案: Your answer is detailed and well-structured but avoid redundancy such as 'personally myself'. Also, use linking words like 'for example' or 'in particular' to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, my hometown has many museums that have gained global attention. For example, the Museum of Natural History is famous for its unique artifacts and exhibitions. I have visited it myself, and it truly is a marvel.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but try to avoid starting with filler words like 'Well, honestly'. Also, use linking words such as 'however' effectively to contrast ideas and keep sentences concise.

例: I rarely visit museums because of my academic workload. However, I once visited two museums in my hometown with friends while cafe hopping, which was an enjoyable experience that helped me learn more about our culture and history. If I had more time, I would definitely visit again.

提案: Your answer is well-structured and descriptive. To improve, try to use more varied vocabulary and linking words like 'especially' or 'in particular' to emphasize points.

例: During my last semester at university, my class spontaneously visited the local Museum of National Artifacts and History. We traveled by public transport, and I was fascinated by exhibits and art pieces I had never seen before. Especially, the sculptures were beautiful, making it a memorable experience.

× Yes, I believe museums are important for a variety of reasons, but the most important being that they connect our younger generations with the past and today's fast-paced world.

✓ Yes, I believe museums are important for a variety of reasons, but the most important is that they connect our younger generations with the past and today's fast-paced world.

The phrase 'the most important being' is incorrect here because 'being' is a present participle that does not function as the main verb in this sentence. The correct form requires a finite verb 'is' to link the subject and complement. So, 'the most important is that...' is grammatically correct.

× It's very important to take these educational opportunities and really make sure we we understand where we're coming from and where we're headed in the future.

✓ It's very important to take these educational opportunities and really make sure we understand where we're coming from and where we're headed in the future.

The sentence contains a repeated pronoun 'we we' which is a typographical error. Removing the duplicate 'we' corrects the sentence. Pronouns should not be repeated unnecessarily as it causes confusion and disrupts sentence flow.

× Yes, my hometown boasts of numerous museums, and plenty of them have attained global attention over the years.

✓ Yes, my hometown boasts numerous museums, and plenty of them have attained global attention over the years.

The verb 'boast' does not require the preposition 'of' when followed directly by the object. Saying 'boasts numerous museums' is correct, while 'boasts of' is incorrect in this context.

× I've seen it personally myself and it truly is a marvel.

✓ I've seen it personally and it truly is a marvel.

The phrase 'personally myself' is redundant because both 'personally' and 'myself' serve to emphasize the subject's direct experience. Using both together is unnecessary and incorrect. Using either 'personally' or 'myself' alone is sufficient.

× However, I visited 2 museums in my hometown with my friends while we were cafe hopping and it was an enjoyable experience getting to know more about our culture and broaden my knowledge about our history.

✓ However, I visited two museums in my hometown with my friends while we were cafe hopping and it was an enjoyable experience getting to know more about our culture and broadening my knowledge about our history.

Numbers less than ten should be written in words in formal writing, so '2' should be 'two'. Also, after 'an enjoyable experience', the verb should be in the gerund form to maintain parallel structure: 'getting' and 'broadening' instead of 'broaden'. This ensures grammatical consistency.

× During my last semester at university, my class decided to spontaneously visit the local Museum of National Artifacts and History.

✓ During my last semester at university, my class decided to visit spontaneously the local Museum of National Artifacts and History.

The adverb 'spontaneously' is better placed after the verb 'visit' to correctly modify the action. While the past tense 'decided' is correct, the placement of the adverb affects clarity and naturalness of the sentence.

× We headed down on public transport and I was very fascinated seeing some exhibits and art pieces I had never seen before.

✓ We headed down by public transport and I was very fascinated seeing some exhibits and art pieces I had never seen before.

The correct preposition to indicate the means of transport is 'by', not 'on'. So, 'headed down by public transport' is correct. Using 'on' is incorrect in this context.