Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to reduce filler words like 'uh' and make your sentences more concise and natural. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and provide specific details about what you do in the library.

例: Yes, I often go to the library because it provides a quiet environment that helps me concentrate better. For example, I usually study my course materials and complete assignments there, which improves my productivity.

提案: Avoid vague phrases like 'exactly as what other pupils do' and reduce filler words. Provide clear and specific activities you do in the library, and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: In the library, I usually work on my assignments and review my notes. Additionally, I take advantage of the quiet atmosphere to focus deeply on my studies.

提案: Clarify your ideas and avoid unclear phrases like 'made me so on vibrance.' Use linking words to explain your reasons clearly and provide specific details about your childhood preferences.

例: No, I didn't go to the library as a child because I preferred outdoor activities. I found the library's quiet atmosphere a bit restrictive, so I chose to spend more time playing outside.

提案: Make your answer clearer and more coherent by avoiding incomplete sentences and vague phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific reasons or examples about Chinese kids' library habits.

例: Yes, many Chinese kids often go to the library. This is because with recent advances in technology, they spend more time studying to improve their skills in science and technology, and the library provides a good environment for that.

× The environment in the library is a quiet place, uh, which helped me to focus, uh, better on my, uh, working and, uh, I can, uh, study there and I try to do my jobs there.

✓ The environment in the library is quiet, which helps me focus better on my work, and I can study there and try to do my tasks there.

The phrase 'a quiet place' is correct but redundant with 'environment'; 'quiet' as an adjective directly describing 'environment' is more natural. 'Helped me to focus' should be present tense 'helps me focus' to match the habitual action. 'Working' should be 'work' as a noun. 'Jobs' is better replaced with 'tasks' or 'assignments' for clarity.

× Being in the library, uh, makes me have the chance to get more.

✓ Being in the library gives me the chance to get more done.

The phrase 'makes me have the chance' is awkward; 'gives me the chance' is more natural. Also, 'get more' is incomplete; adding 'done' clarifies the meaning.

× I do uh, exactly as what other pupils do.

✓ I do exactly what other pupils do.

The phrase 'as what' is incorrect; 'exactly what' is the correct form to express similarity in actions.

× Even, uh, I sometimes catch time to focus, uh, on my, uh, job.

✓ Sometimes, I even find time to focus on my work.

The phrase 'catch time' is incorrect; 'find time' is the correct expression. Also, 'job' is better replaced with 'work' in this context.

× Instead I try to do some outdoor activities.

✓ Instead, I tried to do some outdoor activities.

The sentence refers to past time ('when you were a kid'), so the verb should be in past tense 'tried' instead of present tense 'try'.

× The atmosphere in the library made me so on vibrance that limits me in some aspects.

✓ The atmosphere in the library made me feel so constrained that it limited me in some aspects.

The phrase 'so on vibrance' is incorrect and unclear; 'feel so constrained' better expresses the intended meaning. Also, 'limits' should be past tense 'limited' to match 'made'.

× So I decided not to go to the library.

✓ So I decided not to go to the library.

This sentence is correct in past tense and needs no correction.

× And due to recent progress in Chinese technology, there is a result that they're spending so much time on improving themselves to be more active in science and technology.

✓ And due to recent progress in Chinese technology, the result is that they're spending a lot of time improving themselves to be more active in science and technology.

The phrase 'there is a result that' is awkward; 'the result is that' is more natural. Also, 'so much time on improving' should be 'a lot of time improving' for correct preposition use.

× And I think to do that they decided to send.

✓ And I think to do that, they decided to send their children to the library.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear; adding 'their children to the library' completes the thought and clarifies the meaning.