Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to make your response more concise and directly answer the question first, then add one or two supporting details using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Also, avoid redundancy such as 'study and spend time' which can be simplified.

例: I don't often go to the library because I prefer studying in a quiet, private place where I can focus better without distractions.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Try to give a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific details with linking words. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm'. Also, check grammar and sentence structure for clarity.

例: In the library, I usually read books or study because it is quiet and peaceful, which helps me concentrate better.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and has grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences clearer and more concise. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: No, I didn't go to the library as a child because I was noisy and my parents worried I would disturb others.

提案: Your answer is vague and contains filler words and repetition. Try to give a clear opinion with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' properly and avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: Yes, many Chinese kids often go to the library because they are hardworking and want to improve their knowledge. For example, one of my friends studies there regularly.

× As far as I'm an introverted person, I don't really like studying in a public place and I'd rather have my own safe place to study and spend time and it helps me with focusing and not get distracted and it will have a better influence.

✓ As far as I'm an introverted person, I don't really like studying in public places and I'd rather have my own safe place to study and spend time; it helps me focus and not get distracted, and it has a better influence.

The phrase 'studying in a public place' should be pluralized to 'public places' to generalize the statement. Also, 'helps me with focusing' is better expressed as 'helps me focus' because 'help' is followed by the base form of the verb. 'Not get distracted' should be parallel to 'focus' and thus 'not get distracted' is acceptable but better as 'not be distracted'. 'It will have a better influence' is better as 'it has a better influence' to match the present tense context.

× Since going to library gives you the space to focus more and you'll have a quiet place to concentrate.

✓ Since going to the library gives you the space to focus more and you'll have a quiet place to concentrate.

The phrase 'going to library' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'library' because it refers to a specific place known to both speaker and listener.

× Uh, I preferly umm, try to do the things that requires calm and peace, so I start.

✓ Uh, I preferably try to do the things that require calm and peace, so I start.

The word 'preferly' is not a correct adverb form; the correct adverb is 'preferably'. Also, 'things that requires' should be 'things that require' because 'things' is plural and the verb must agree in number.

× No, as a kid I didn't like to go to library and my parents also didn't want me to be there because I was not naughty child and I was always making noises and get other people distracted.

✓ No, as a kid I didn't like to go to the library and my parents also didn't want me to be there because I was a naughty child and I was always making noises and getting other people distracted.

The phrase 'go to library' needs the definite article 'the'. 'I was not naughty child' is incorrect; it should be 'I was a naughty child' to include the article 'a'. Also, 'get other people distracted' should be 'getting other people distracted' to maintain parallel verb forms with 'making noises'.

× So they wanted to respect other people's privacy so.

✓ So they wanted to respect other people's privacy.

The sentence ends with an unnecessary conjunction 'so' which creates a sentence fragment. Removing the final 'so' corrects the sentence structure.

× As far as I'm aware, umm as they are some intelligent and hardworking people, they might spend loads of time at libraries for education and studying and improving themselves and their knowledge is.

✓ As far as I'm aware, since they are intelligent and hardworking people, they might spend loads of time at libraries for education, studying, and improving themselves and their knowledge.

The phrase 'as they are some intelligent' is awkward; 'since they are intelligent' is clearer. Also, 'their knowledge is' is incomplete and should be removed or completed; here it is removed for clarity.

× For example, one of my friends goes to library library.

✓ For example, one of my friends goes to the library.

The phrase 'goes to library library' is incorrect; it should be 'goes to the library'. The repetition 'library library' is likely a mistake, and the definite article 'the' is needed before 'library'.