Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your response within 5 sentences. For example, instead of repeating 'write some poems' and 'write some stories', you can combine them and add linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I often visit the Public Library, especially on Sundays and Mondays, to read books unavailable at home and to write creative pieces such as poems and stories. This environment inspires me to develop my writing skills further.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases like 'as I said before' and try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words. Also, be more specific about your activities to enrich your answer.

例: In the library, I usually engage in creative activities such as sketching, painting, and writing poems and novels. These activities help stimulate my creativity and make my visits enjoyable.

提案: Your answer is a bit long and slightly unclear. Try to organize your ideas with linking words and avoid filler phrases like 'to be honest' and 'like'. Also, clarify your points with specific details and keep the answer concise.

例: Yes, I visited libraries frequently as a child because my parents loved reading. Moreover, during our travels, they often took me to different libraries in each country, which helped me develop a strong interest in books.

提案: Avoid starting with irrelevant information about yourself. Instead, directly answer the question with a clear opinion and support it with reasons or examples. Use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Although I am not Chinese, I think many Chinese children visit libraries regularly because libraries are important places for learning and studying in China.

× I frequently go to the Public Library, especially on Sunday and Monday, to read books that are not available at my home, as well as write some poems, write some stories that I want to write, like novels and whatnot.

✓ I frequently go to the Public Library, especially on Sundays and Mondays, to read books that are not available at my home, as well as write some poems and stories that I want to write, like novels and whatnot.

The days of the week should be plural when referring to repeated actions on multiple days (Sundays and Mondays). Also, 'write some poems, write some stories' is repetitive; combining with 'and' improves clarity and grammar.

× As I said before, I like to do sketches as well as paint and also I like to write poems, novels, so all of these things that I do in the library make my creative juices come up.

✓ As I said before, I like to do sketches as well as paint, and I also like to write poems and novels, so all of these things that I do in the library make my creative juices flow.

The phrase 'write poems, novels' should use 'and' to connect plural nouns properly. Also, 'make my creative juices come up' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'make my creative juices flow'.

× I believe I went to the library a lot when I was a kid since my parents love reading and they adore the size of the library to be honest because when we were like traveling and sightseeing they always took me to a new library in each country.

✓ I believe I went to the library a lot when I was a kid since my parents loved reading and they adored the size of the library to be honest because when we were traveling and sightseeing, they always took me to a new library in each country.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. Since the context is past ('when I was a kid'), verbs like 'love' and 'adore' should be in past tense ('loved', 'adored'). Also, 'were like traveling' is informal and should be 'were traveling'.

× Well, I'm not Chinese and I didn't meet any Chinese kids recently, but I believe every kid often goes once at least in their life, to the library.

✓ Well, I'm not Chinese and I haven't met any Chinese kids recently, but I believe every kid goes to the library at least once in their life.

The phrase 'didn't meet' is better as present perfect 'haven't met' for recent events. Also, 'goes once at least in their life, to the library' has incorrect word order and preposition use; it should be 'goes to the library at least once in their life.'