List— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and repetitive phrasing. Also correct grammar (e.g., "so I try to keep one with me" is fine but remove redundant clauses).

例: Yes. I usually make a shopping list so I don't forget the things I need. For example, last week I listed groceries and household items on my phone, which helped me finish shopping quickly and avoid buying unnecessary things.

提案: Clarify your meaning and correct grammar. Give a clear topic sentence saying you make work lists and state whether they help. Use linking words to explain how they help, and avoid fillers and unclear verbs ("miss the task").

例: Yes, I always make a to-do list for work, and it usually helps me complete tasks on time. For instance, I prioritise urgent items at the top and check them off as I finish, which reduces stress and improves my productivity.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence and give two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid casual words like 'hate' if you want a more formal tone and remove filler sounds.

例: Some people avoid making lists because they think it takes too much time and feels restrictive. In addition, others believe lists won't help them remember or prioritise tasks, so they prefer more flexible methods like mental notes.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence stating your preference and two clear reasons using linking words. Fix repetition and wording ("check the rest" unclear). Mention a specific app or benefit to be more concrete.

例: I prefer making lists on my phone because I always carry it and can access my list anywhere. For example, I use a notes app with checkboxes so I can tick off items while shopping and update the list in real time.

× I usually make a list when I go shopping with at least I will perhaps forget purchasing the items that I wanted to purchase and what I needed, so I try to keep one with me.

✓ I usually make a list when I go shopping because I might forget to purchase the items I need, so I try to keep one with me.

The original sentence uses incorrect phrasing 'with at least I will perhaps forget purchasing' and mixes tenses and forms. 'Forget purchasing' is awkward; after 'forget' use the infinitive 'to purchase' for intended actions. Also 'that I wanted to purchase and what I needed' is redundant and mixes past with present. Use 'I might forget to purchase the items I need' to match the habitual present context and simplify the sentence.

× I usually make a list for my work in order to, uh, miss the task that I receive. Umm, I think it is effective in terms of umm, missing uh, completing the all the works at that I got asked.

✓ I usually make a list for my work in order not to miss tasks that I receive. I think it is effective in preventing me from missing or not completing the work I was asked to do.

The speaker used 'in order to miss' incorrectly; the intention is to avoid missing tasks, so use 'in order not to miss'. 'Completing the all the works at that I got asked' mixes articles and tense incorrectly; use 'the work I was asked to do' or 'the tasks I was asked to complete'. Use consistent past tense 'was asked' for completed requests and avoid extra articles like 'the all the'.

× Some might hate making a list simply because it takes time to form 1 and, uh in addition to it, some believe it might not work, therefore they refrain from making lists.

✓ Some might hate making a list simply because it takes time to make one, and in addition, some believe it might not work; therefore they refrain from making lists.

Problems include 'form 1' (should be 'make one') and awkward conjunctions. 'In addition to it' is wordy; use 'in addition' or 'also'. Combine ideas with appropriate connectors and punctuation: 'and in addition, ...; therefore ...' for clarity.

× I prefer to make a list on my phone too, rather than making a paper one, simply because I am always carrying a mobile phone and I can accordingly I can always check the rest.

✓ I prefer to make a list on my phone rather than on paper, simply because I always carry my phone and I can always check it.

Use the preposition 'on' for both 'phone' and 'paper' for parallel structure: 'make a list on my phone rather than on paper'. 'Carrying a mobile phone' is correct but 'I can accordingly I can always check the rest' repeats and misuses 'accordingly' and 'the rest'. Use 'I always carry my phone and can always check it' for clarity and conciseness.