List— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more structured and avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm'. Start with a clear topic sentence, then explain briefly how you use your phone for lists, and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I sometimes make a shopping list using my phone. For example, iPhones have a built-in app called 'Lists' where I can write down all the items I need to buy that day. This helps me stay organized and not forget anything.

提案: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to give a direct answer first, then explain why lists help you at work. Avoid vague phrases like 'my problem' without explanation. Use linking words to clarify your points.

例: Yes, I usually make lists for my work because I find it difficult to remember tasks otherwise. Therefore, making a list helps me stay focused and complete my work efficiently.

提案: Your answer is too general and lacks clarity. Try to explain reasons more clearly and provide examples. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague expressions like 'such kind of lifestyle'.

例: Some people dislike making lists because they have a good memory and prefer to remember things mentally. Additionally, others might find list-making boring or feel lazy to write things down.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then explain reasons with specific details. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I prefer to make my lists on my phone because it is more convenient. For instance, I don't need to carry extra paper, and I always have my phone with me, so I can check my list anytime.

× Sometimes I do, I use my phone for it.

✓ Sometimes I do; I use my phone for it.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence. It should be separated into two independent clauses with a semicolon or period to improve clarity and correctness.

× if you, if you know, iPhones have a umm, that option which is named lists and you can write down there everything you want to shop that day.

✓ If you know, iPhones have an option called 'Lists' where you can write down everything you want to buy that day.

The sentence has awkward pronoun use and unclear phrasing. 'That option which is named lists' is better expressed as 'an option called Lists'. Also, 'write down there' is unclear; 'where you can write down' is clearer.

× So sometimes I.

✓ So sometimes I do.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. Adding 'do' completes the thought and makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× I tried to make the list for my work almost always and because of my problem I can say that this is the problem for me, that it's practically impossible for me to remember if I do not.

✓ I try to make a list for my work almost always, and because of my problem, I can say that it is practically impossible for me to remember if I do not.

The verb tense should be present ('try' instead of 'tried') to match the habitual action. 'The list' should be 'a list' as it is not a specific list. The sentence was incomplete and unclear; it was corrected for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× People don't like to make lists sometimes because of good memory and such kind of lifestyle or sometimes they are just lazy.

✓ People sometimes don't like to make lists because they have a good memory or that kind of lifestyle, or sometimes they are just lazy.

The sentence structure was awkward and unclear. Rearranging the sentence improves clarity and flow. 'Such kind of lifestyle' is better expressed as 'that kind of lifestyle'.

× I mentioned that I prefer to make my lists on my on my phone.

✓ I mentioned that I prefer to make my lists on my phone.

The phrase 'on my on my phone' contains a repeated word 'on my'. Removing the repetition corrects the sentence.

× I think that this is more convenient and you do not have to carry on some other subjects or lists or paper or I don't know you, you have everything in your phone.

✓ I think that this is more convenient, and you do not have to carry other things like lists or paper; you have everything on your phone.

The phrase 'carry on some other subjects' is incorrect; 'carry other things' is appropriate. Also, 'you have everything in your phone' should be 'on your phone' because data is stored on devices, not inside them. The sentence was also restructured for clarity.