Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason with a brief example. Avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., “by singing”) and use linking words if adding detail.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it makes me feel both energetic and relaxed. For example, after I sing along to an upbeat song I feel more awake, and when I practice a slow ballad it helps me unwind.

提案: Use correct tense and clearer phrasing, and combine related information into one or two sentences. Give specific details (what you learned) and use linking words like “and” or “who”. Avoid redundant comments about education unless relevant.

例: Yes. Last weekend I took a lesson from my school teacher, Sabras Sir, who has 22 years of experience as a musician and singing teacher. He taught me breathing techniques and how to control my pitch.

提案: Make the answer direct and more fluent. Start with the topic sentence and then give one specific reason with an example. Avoid repetition and improve linking words (use “and” or “because”).

例: I would like to sing for my teachers and friends because they support me and give honest feedback. For instance, my friends often tell me which songs suit my voice, which helps me improve.

提案: Clarify your main idea and use accurate vocabulary and grammar. Give a clear reason and a short example. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases like “they fail in the present era.” Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

例: Yes, I think singing can make people happier because it relieves stress and lifts the mood. For example, when someone feels sad, singing a cheerful song often helps them feel more positive.

提案: Rephrase to make your point clear and concise. State your opinion first, then explain what you learn from listening with a specific example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “learn” instead of “catch up a lot of the points”).

例: Yes, I enjoy listening to others sing because I can learn techniques and styles from them. For example, by listening to a professional I noticed how they use breath control to hold long notes.

提案: Be concise and correct with tenses and pronouns. Start with a clear yes/no, then give specific details such as when, what you learned, and how long the lessons lasted. Use linking words like “and” or “for example.”

例: Yes, I have. In my final year of school we had singing lessons with Amara Sir, who is an experienced teacher. We had about two hours of practice a day, where we focused on vocal warm-ups and song interpretation.

× Yes, I like singing because by singing I feel very energetic as well as relaxed.

✓ Yes, I like singing because singing makes me feel energetic and relaxed.

The original uses an unnecessary 'by' before the gerund and awkward phrasing 'feel very energetic as well as relaxed.' Use the gerund 'singing' directly as the subject and a simple verb 'makes' to link to the complement. This produces a natural sentence: 'singing makes me feel energetic and relaxed.'

× Yes, on the last weekend I learned singing from my school teacher whose name is Sabras Sir.

✓ Yes, last weekend I learned to sing from my school teacher, Sabras Sir.

Use 'last weekend' instead of 'on the last weekend' and the correct verb pattern is 'learned to sing' (learn + to-infinitive) rather than 'learned singing.' Also commas improve clarity around the teacher's name.

× He's well educated.

✓ He is well-educated.

Use the compound adjective 'well-educated' with a hyphen when it directly modifies a noun (or after 'is' as a predicate adjective) and avoid the contraction in formal correction if desired. Also 'he's' is acceptable but writing 'He is' is clearer.

× He has 22 year experience of musician as well as singing.

✓ He has 22 years of experience as a musician and a singing teacher.

Use plural 'years' with a number. Use the noun phrase 'years of experience.' The role should be expressed correctly: 'as a musician' and connect ideas with 'and.' 'Of musician' is incorrect; use 'as a musician.'

× Who do you want to sing for?

✓ For whom do you want to sing?

The original question from the examiner uses an informal word order. In formal written English, 'for whom' is preferred. However, in spoken English 'Who do you want to sing for?' is common and acceptable. This correction follows formal grammar guidelines.

× I would like to sing for my school teachers as well As for my friends because they are the people who support me a lot and their reactions are better for me.

✓ I would like to sing for my school teachers and my friends because they support me a lot and their reactions encourage me.

Fix capitalization ('As' should be 'as'), remove redundant 'as well as' when 'and' is simpler, and replace awkward phrase 'their reactions are better for me' with 'their reactions encourage me' to convey meaning clearly. Use 'support me a lot' without 'the people who.'

× In my perspective, the singings make happier to the individuals because by singing their depression get to be loose or they fail in the present era.

✓ From my perspective, singing makes people happier because it can relieve their depression and help them cope with difficulties.

'In my perspective' should be 'From my perspective.' 'The singings' is incorrect; use the uncountable noun 'singing.' 'Make happier to the individuals' is ungrammatical — use 'makes people happier.' 'Their depression get to be loose' is incorrect; use 'relieve their depression.' 'They fail in the present era' is unclear; replaced with 'help them cope with difficulties' to make a sensible meaning.

× Well, definitely by listening to other singing we catch up a lot of the points of the musician only known about it by singing.

✓ Well, definitely by listening to others sing we learn many things about a musician that we can only notice by hearing them sing.

Use 'listening to others sing' (bare infinitive after 'listen to') rather than 'other singing.' 'Catch up a lot of the points' is awkward; use 'learn many things' or 'notice many details.' 'Only known about it by singing' is ungrammatical; clarify as 'that we can only notice by hearing them sing.'

× Well, in my +2 class there is a teacher whose name is Amara Sir.

✓ Well, in my 12th grade class there is a teacher named Amara Sir.

Replace '+2' with the clearer '12th grade' (or appropriate local equivalent). 'Teacher whose name is Amara Sir' is wordy; 'a teacher named Amara Sir' is more natural.

× He is well educated in the singing.

✓ He is well educated in singing.

Remove the definite article 'the' before 'singing.' 'Educated in singing' is the correct phrase.

× They also provide me a lot of the lecture on the singing, about two hour per day.

✓ They also gave me many lectures on singing, about two hours per day.

Use 'many lectures' rather than 'a lot of the lecture.' Match plural 'hours' with 'two.' Use past tense 'gave' if referring to past events, or 'provide' and 'give me' consistently if present. 'On singing' (no 'the') is correct.