Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장에서 문법적 오류와 중복이 많습니다. 답변은 주제문 한 문장으로 명확히 시작한 뒤, 1–2개의 구체적 이유를 연결어(예: because, so, therefore)로 자연스럽게 이어야 합니다. 발음이나 유창성을 위해 반복되는 단어를 줄이고 간결하게 말하세요. 또한 ‘singing room’ 대신 ‘karaoke room’이나 ‘choir practice’처럼 구체적인 표현을 사용하면 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it helps me relax after a stressful day. For example, I often go to a karaoke room with friends to unwind, and singing always lifts my mood and calms me down.

提案: 답변이 불명확하고 반복이 많습니다. ‘No’로 직접 답한 뒤, 이유나 간단한 설명을 한두 문장으로 구체적으로 덧붙이세요. 예를 들어 배우지 않은 이유(시간 부족, 관심 부족, 또는 자연스럽게 배웠다 등)와 본인의 자신감을 간단히 말하면 좋습니다.

例: No, I haven't taken formal singing lessons. I usually sing informally for fun, so I don't find it difficult, but I would consider taking classes to improve my technique.

提案: 의도를 잘 전달하려 했지만 반복과 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 주어와 목적어를 명확히 하고 구체적인 상황(예: 파티, 생일)이나 이유(예: 기쁨을 나누기 위해)도 덧붙이면 답변이 풍부해집니다. 연결어(for example, because, so)도 자연스럽게 사용하세요.

例: I usually like to sing for my family and close friends because they are important to me. For example, I often perform a song at family gatherings to make everyone feel happy.

提案: 생각은 잘 표현했지만 문장이 산만하고 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다('harmful' 등). 주제문으로 시작해 이유를 1–2개 구체적으로 말하고, 개인 경험을 한 문장으로 예시로 들면 설득력이 높아집니다. 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I believe singing can make people happier because it relieves stress and improves mood. For instance, when I feel down, singing a favorite song helps me relax and feel more positive.

× Yeah, I absolutely I prefer singing because singing is made me feel really relaxing and I I stressed really reduce stressful for me, so I always go to singing room. It made me feel really relaxing. So I really.

✓ Yeah, I absolutely prefer singing because singing makes me feel really relaxed and reduces my stress, so I always go to a singing room. It makes me feel really relaxed.

문장에서 'made'와 'reduce'는 동사의 형태가 잘못 사용되었습니다. 'singing is made me feel'는 수동형과 과거형이 섞여 틀렸고, 현재의 일반적 사실을 말하므로 현재 단순형 'makes'를 사용해야 합니다. 'reduce stressful for me'는 문법적으로 자연스럽지 않으므로 목적어와 형용사 형태를 정리하여 'reduces my stress'로 고쳐야 합니다. 또한 'singing room' 앞에는 부정관사 'a'를 추가해야 자연스럽습니다. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual/general statements (makes, reduces), use correct adjective/adverb forms (relaxed), and include articles where needed.

× No, I didn't learn how how to long, how to song. So I, I, I just just thinking, just saying, yeah, it is not difficult for me. So it is just mood, yeah.

✓ No, I haven't learned how to sing. I just think it's not difficult for me; it's just a matter of mood.

과거부정 'didn't learn' 대신 현재완료 'haven't learned'가 더 자연스럽습니다 because the experience of learning is relevant to the present. 'how to long, how to song' are incorrect verb forms; the correct infinitive is 'to sing.' 'I just just thinking' mixes continuous and simple forms; use simple present 'I just think.' 'So it is just mood' needs article and phrasing: 'a matter of mood.' Suggestion: Use present perfect for experiences relevant now, use correct infinitive verbs, and prefer simple present for general statements.

× I think we we might family or friends because family and friends is really valuable for me. So it is really beneficial for me. So I think it is quite natural and.

✓ I would like to sing for my family or my friends because they are very important to me. It feels natural and beneficial.

원문에서 'we we might family or friends'는 주어·목적어 관계가 틀렸습니다. 'family and friends is'는 복수 주어이므로 동사 'are'를 써야 합니다. 또한 반복과 불완전한 문장 구조가 있어 의미 전달이 어렵습니다. 'they are very important to me'로 바꾸어 명확히 하고, 'I would like to sing for' 같은 표현으로 의도를 분명히 하세요. Suggestion: Match pronouns with their referents, use plural agreement for 'family and friends', and avoid redundant words.

× Yeah, I absolutely think it can bring happiness for to people because when I when I was really, when I felt really, really harmful, it made singing made me feel really relaxing and happiest for me. So it is really beneficial for us and relaxing mind control. So it is really happy to make.

✓ Yeah, I absolutely think it can bring happiness to people because when I felt really bad, singing made me feel relaxed and happy. So it is really beneficial for us and helps calm the mind.

'bring happiness for to people'에서 전치사 중복이 있고 'harmful'은 감정을 표현할 때 부적절합니다; 'felt really bad'가 더 자연스럽습니다. 'it made singing made me feel'는 중복된 동사 형태 오류로, 'singing made me feel'로 고쳐야 합니다. 'happiest'는 최상급이라 문맥에 맞지 않으므로 'happy'로 수정합니다. 'relaxing mind control'은 비문이므로 'helps calm the mind'로 자연스럽게 표현하세요. Suggestion: Remove redundant prepositions, use correct adjective to describe feeling, avoid duplicate verbs, and choose appropriate degree (happy vs happiest).