Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: use singular/plural and article forms, avoid fillers, and give one clear reason plus a brief detail. Keep to under 5 sentences and use a linking phrase for coherence.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me forget my problems for a while. For example, when I'm stressed I sing along to calming songs, which relaxes me and improves my mood.

提案: Use correct verb forms and clearer organization: state the fact, give a reason, and then explain what you did next. Replace vague phrases with specific actions and use linking words like 'however' or 'so'.

例: No, I have never taken formal singing lessons because I thought I lacked natural talent. However, because I enjoy singing, I decided to practice on my own by watching online tutorials and recording myself to improve.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar: begin with a direct topic sentence, then briefly explain why. Avoid confusing phrases; give a specific example of when you sing for yourself. Limit to 2–3 coherent sentences with linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: I prefer to sing for myself rather than for other people because it helps me cope with stress. For instance, at night I sing quietly while I relax, which calms me even if my voice isn't perfect.

提案: Make the response more natural and specific: give a clear opinion, support it with a reason, and include an example showing impact on others. Use correct reflexive pronouns and linking words like 'for example' or 'because'.

例: Yes, I think singing can bring happiness because it expresses emotions and lifts people's spirits. For example, singing uplifting songs with friends often makes everyone smile and feel more optimistic.

× Yes, I do like singing because singing can take my minds off my problem, uh, for awhile. That's why I really want to be come better at singing.

✓ Yes, I do like singing because singing can take my mind off my problems for a while. That's why I really want to become better at singing.

Errors: 'minds' should be singular 'mind' because the phrase 'take my mind off' uses a singular possessed noun; 'problem' should be plural 'problems' to match general situations; 'for awhile' should be two words 'for a while'; 'be come' is incorrect spacing and should be the verb 'become'. Suggestion: use fixed expressions ('take my mind off'), check noun number for general vs specific, and use correct verb forms without splitting.

× Unfortunately, I have never learned how to sing because I realized that I don't have a talent for singing even though I really like to sing. So I have decided to learn singing all by myself.

✓ Unfortunately, I have never learned how to sing because I realized that I don't have a talent for singing even though I really like to sing. So I have decided to learn to sing all by myself.

Error: 'learn singing' is incorrect collocation; English uses 'learn to do something' or 'learn how to do something'. Suggestion: replace 'learn singing' with 'learn to sing' or 'learn how to sing' to form a correct infinitive complement.

× I do not want to sing for anyone, I just want to sing for myself because when I have a problem singing can is my problem, but unfortunately because of my bad voice I just make another problem.

✓ I do not want to sing for anyone; I just want to sing for myself because when I have a problem, singing helps me forget it. Unfortunately, because of my bad voice, I sometimes create more problems.

Errors: run-on sentence and unclear phrase 'singing can is my problem' which is ungrammatical; punctuation and clause boundaries needed. 'singing helps me forget it' is a clear, grammatical way to express the idea. Also 'I just make another problem' is better as 'I sometimes create more problems'. Suggestions: split into sentences or use proper connectors, replace unclear phrases with standard verbs ('help forget', 'create problems'), and add commas for clarity.

× I agree with this statement because personally, singing can make myself happier when I have many problems and I know many songs that have great lyrics to make people happy.

✓ I agree with this statement because, personally, singing can make me happier when I have many problems, and I know many songs with great lyrics that make people happy.

Errors: 'make myself happier' is incorrect reflexive use; use 'make me happier'. 'songs that have great lyrics to make people happy' is wordy—use 'songs with great lyrics that make people happy'. Suggestions: use object pronoun 'me' after 'make', avoid unnecessary reflexive pronouns, and tighten relative clauses for clarity.