Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy by combining similar ideas and use more natural expressions like "feel relieved" instead of "feel relief." Also, try to limit your answer to about 3-4 sentences for better effectiveness.

例: Yes, I love singing because it helps me feel relieved and relaxed. It also lifts my mood and helps me stay positive during stressful times.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Try to use past tense correctly and clarify your meaning. Also, avoid vague expressions like "something about singing" by specifying what you learned. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I took a singing class at my school when I was in grade 5 for the annual program. It was an interesting experience where I learned basic singing techniques and how to control my voice.

提案: Your answer shows good emotion but is a bit repetitive and awkward in phrasing. Try to express your ideas more naturally and avoid repeating similar points. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I want to sing for my parents because they have always supported me through every challenge. They are like my backbone, helping me during both good and difficult times.

提案: Your answer has grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. Try to use correct verb forms and clearer examples. Also, avoid vague phrases like "make more comfortable and innovative." Use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness in many ways. For example, after a tiring day, listening to classical music can help people feel relaxed and stress-free. Additionally, singing can inspire creativity and positivity in our lives.

× Yes, I love to sing a song because it helps me to feel relief, relaxed and stress free.

✓ Yes, I love singing a song because it helps me feel relieved, relaxed, and stress-free.

The verb 'love' is commonly followed by the gerund form '-ing' when expressing enjoyment of an activity. Also, 'feel relief' is incorrect; the adjective 'relieved' should be used to describe the feeling. Additionally, 'stress free' should be hyphenated as 'stress-free' when used as an adjective.

× Yes, I want Swain musical class in my school when I was in grade 5 for the institution annual program.

✓ Yes, I went to Swain musical class in my school when I was in grade 5 for the institution's annual program.

The verb 'want' is incorrect here; the past tense 'went' should be used to indicate a past action. Also, 'institution annual program' needs a possessive form 'institution's annual program' to show ownership.

× It was an interesting time when I learn about something about singing.

✓ It was an interesting time when I learned something about singing.

The verb 'learn' should be in the past tense 'learned' to match the past context. Also, 'about something about singing' is redundant; 'learned something about singing' is clearer.

× Who do you want to sing for?

✓ Who do you want to sing for?

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× I want to sing a song for my close ones.

✓ I want to sing a song for my close ones.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× They will be my parents because in every part of my life there is a huge and greatest role play by play by my father and mother.

✓ They will be my parents because in every part of my life, my father and mother have played a huge and great role.

The phrase 'role play by play by' is incorrect and redundant. The correct expression is 'have played a huge and great role.' Also, 'greatest' should be 'great' to fit the comparative context.

× They always stand for me as my backbone.

✓ They always stand by me as my backbone.

The correct preposition is 'stand by' someone, meaning to support them. 'Stand for me' is incorrect in this context.

× They always help me in my every low and high improving situation.

✓ They always help me in every low and high situation I experience.

The phrase 'low and high improving situation' is awkward and unclear. It is better to say 'every low and high situation I experience' to express ups and downs. Also, 'in my every' is incorrect; 'in every' is appropriate.

× Yes, I absolutely thinks singing can bring happiness to people by many ways such as when vocals come home after their tired schedule, if they listen some classical song, they feel stress free.

✓ Yes, I absolutely think singing can bring happiness to people in many ways, such as when vocalists come home after their tiring schedule; if they listen to some classical songs, they feel stress-free.

The verb 'thinks' should be 'think' to agree with the subject 'I'. 'Vocals' should be 'vocalists' to refer to people. 'Tired schedule' should be 'tiring schedule' to describe the schedule causing tiredness. 'Listen some classical song' should be 'listen to some classical songs'. 'Stress free' should be hyphenated as 'stress-free'.

× Similarly, it helps us to make more comfortable and innovative to get some positive path in our life.

✓ Similarly, it helps us feel more comfortable and innovative to find a positive path in our lives.

The phrase 'helps us to make more comfortable and innovative' is incorrect; it should be 'helps us feel more comfortable and innovative'. Also, 'get some positive path' is awkward; 'find a positive path' is better. 'Our life' should be plural 'our lives' to refer to multiple people.