Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: သင်၏အဖြေသည် သဘာဝကျပြီး တိုတောင်းသော်လည်း စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြု၍ ပိုမိုသက်ဆိုင်မှုရှိစေရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ "I found myself that I have no talent in this" ဆိုသော စကားလုံးကို ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျသော "I realized that I don't have much talent for singing" ဟု ပြောင်းလဲနိုင်သည်။ ထို့အပြင် "I prefer dancing because I am more talented in dance rather than singing" ကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ဖော်ပြရန် "I prefer dancing because I am better at it than singing" ဟု ပြောနိုင်သည်။

例: Yes, I like singing, but I realized that I don't have much talent for it. Therefore, I prefer dancing because I am better at it than singing.

提案: အဖြေသည် ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ "I just am by myself from Internet like YouTube or Google" ကို "I have only taught myself by watching videos on YouTube and searching on Google" ဟု ပြောင်းလဲနိုင်သည်။ ထို့အပြင် စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုချောမွေ့စေရန် "I try to catch the not that on the screen" ကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ဖော်ပြရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

例: No, I've never formally learned how to sing. I have only taught myself by watching videos on YouTube and searching on Google. I try to follow the notes on the screen, but I have never practiced seriously; it's just for fun.

提案: အဖြေသည် ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ "I wanna sing for my parents" ကို ပိုမိုရိုးရှင်းပြီး သေချာစွာ "I would like to sing for my parents" ဟု ပြောင်းလဲနိုင်သည်။ "I feel like it is the expensive gift that I can give" ကို "I think it would be a precious gift for them" ဟု ပြောင်းလဲနိုင်သည်။

例: If I were talented in singing and had a nice voice, I would like to sing for my parents, especially on their birthdays. I think it would be a precious gift for them.

提案: အဖြေသည် ပိုမိုသဘာဝကျပြီး စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ "even we feel I'm motivated if we listen a song with more energetic" ကို "we feel motivated when we listen to energetic songs" ဟု ပြောင်းလဲနိုင်သည်။ "songs can heal our inner" ကို "songs can heal our inner feelings" ဟု ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစေရန် ပြောင်းလဲနိုင်သည်။

例: Yes, absolutely. I think singing can bring happiness to people because we feel motivated when we listen to energetic songs. Moreover, songs can heal our inner feelings and make us more productive.

× Yes, I do like singing but I found myself that I have no talent in this so I prefer dancing because I am more talented in dance rather than singing.

✓ Yes, I do like singing but I find that I have no talent in it, so I prefer dancing because I am more talented in dance than in singing.

The phrase 'I found myself that' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'I find that'. Also, 'in this' should be 'in it' to refer to singing. The comparison 'more talented in dance rather than singing' should be 'more talented in dance than in singing' for proper comparison structure.

× No I've never learned how to sing. I just am by myself from Internet like YouTube or Google.

✓ No, I've never learned how to sing. I just teach myself using the Internet like YouTube or Google.

The phrase 'I just am by myself from Internet' is incorrect and unclear. The correct expression is 'I just teach myself using the Internet'. This clarifies the meaning and corrects the verb usage.

× I try to catch the not that on the screen so and I've never practiced as a series, it's just for fun.

✓ I try to catch the notes on the screen, and I've never practiced seriously; it's just for fun.

The original sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. 'Catch the not that on the screen' should be 'catch the notes on the screen'. 'Practiced as a series' is incorrect; it should be 'practiced seriously'. Also, the sentence needs proper conjunction and punctuation for clarity.

× If I am talented in singing and if I have a nice voice, I wanna sing for my parents, especially at their birthday.

✓ If I were talented in singing and if I had a nice voice, I would sing for my parents, especially on their birthdays.

The sentence expresses a hypothetical situation, so the subjunctive mood should be used: 'If I were' and 'if I had'. Also, 'wanna' is informal and should be 'would'. 'At their birthday' should be 'on their birthdays' for correct preposition and plural form.

× I feel like it is the expensive gift that I can give.

✓ I feel like it is the most expensive gift that I can give.

The adjective 'expensive' needs to be in the superlative form 'most expensive' to indicate the highest degree.

× Yes absolutely I think singing can bring happiness to people because even we feel I'm motivated if we listen a song with more energetic we become more productive as a songs can heal our inner.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I think singing can bring happiness to people because we feel motivated when we listen to energetic songs, and we become more productive as songs can heal our inner selves.

The original sentence is fragmented and ungrammatical. 'Even we feel I'm motivated' should be 'we feel motivated'. 'Listen a song with more energetic' should be 'listen to energetic songs'. 'As a songs' is incorrect; it should be 'as songs'. Added 'inner selves' for clarity.