Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answerが不自然で、言葉の繰り返しや詰まりが多いです。もっと簡潔で明確に、なぜ歌うのが好きかを説明しましょう。例えば、楽しさやリラックスできる点を具体的に述べると良いです。

例: Yes, I enjoy singing, especially at birthday parties because it creates a joyful and relaxing atmosphere where everyone can have fun.

提案: 回答が繰り返しや詰まりが多く、内容が曖昧です。学んだ経験や方法について具体的に述べ、声の特徴も簡潔に説明しましょう。

例: Yes, I have taken singing lessons to improve my voice, although I consider my voice to be average and not professional.

提案: 内容は良いですが、「meaningful relative」の表現が不自然です。もっと適切な語彙を使い、文を簡潔にしましょう。

例: I want to sing for my family because they always support me. I enjoy songs with relaxing melodies and meaningful lyrics, which help me feel calm and happy. Singing for them is a way to show my gratitude.

提案: 回答が非常に不明瞭で、文法的にも誤りがあります。歌が人々に幸福をもたらす理由や具体例を明確に述べましょう。

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness to people, especially during events like Christmas parties, because meaningful songs create a joyful atmosphere.

× It's uh, it's, uh, it there, there is umm, enjoy there and have fun and just relax.

✓ It's uh, it's, uh, there is umm, enjoyment there and people have fun and just relax.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'it there, there is' which is confusing and ungrammatical. The phrase 'there is' should be used to indicate existence, followed by a noun. Also, 'enjoy' is a verb and should be replaced with the noun 'enjoyment' to fit the sentence structure.

× I learned to to sing and how to improve my voice.

✓ I learned to sing and how to improve my voice.

The sentence contains a repeated word 'to' which is a typographical error. Removing the extra 'to' corrects the sentence.

× Normally I don't, I don't have the, uh, professional voice because this my voice is normal.

✓ Normally I don't have a professional voice because my voice is normal.

The phrase 'this my voice' is incorrect. It should be 'my voice' to correctly use the possessive pronoun. Also, the sentence is simplified by removing unnecessary pauses and repeated words.

× I like this song because it has a relaxed melody and meaningful relative which help me feel calm and happy.

✓ I like this song because it has a relaxed melody and meaningful lyrics which help me feel calm and happy.

The word 'relative' is incorrect in this context; the correct word is 'lyrics' which refers to the words of a song. This correction improves clarity and meaning.

× Yes, I I have singing. Uh, I, I. And bring to happiness in other people like Christmas party or special event.

✓ Yes, I like singing. It brings happiness to other people at events like Christmas parties or special events.

The original sentence is fragmented and uses incorrect pronouns and verb forms. 'I have singing' is incorrect; 'I like singing' is appropriate. 'And bring to happiness' should be 'It brings happiness' to correctly use subject and verb agreement and prepositions.