Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it contains some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "Even though I enjoy songs" which is a fragment. Also, avoid redundancy and ensure sentences are complete and connected smoothly. Try to use linking words to improve coherence.

例: No, I prefer listening to music rather than singing because I'm not confident about my singing voice. However, I really enjoy songs. For example, when I feel stressed, I usually play my favorite music to help me relax and clear my mind.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical mistakes, such as "I've never been on music class" and repeated words "other other". Also, the answer is somewhat disorganized. Try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words to connect ideas.

例: No, I have never taken a music class because there were no such facilities at my school when I was young. Also, I didn't join any external institutes. However, I have tried learning by watching videos on YouTube and other websites.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "enhance her more" which is unclear. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your thoughts logically.

例: Obviously, when I get married and have a daughter, I would like to sing a song for her to comfort and encourage her. I believe it will make her happy and she will appreciate my effort.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but is affected by grammatical errors and unclear expressions, such as "it focus" and "innerize their body into positive energy." Try to use clearer vocabulary and correct grammar, and organize your answer with linking words for coherence.

例: Definitely, singing can bring happiness to people because it improves their mood and helps them forget negative thoughts. Moreover, it energizes the body and fills people with positive energy.

× Even though I enjoy songs.

✓ Even though I enjoy songs,

This sentence is a fragment because it lacks a main clause. 'Even though' is a subordinating conjunction that requires a main clause to complete the sentence. Adding a comma and connecting it to the previous sentence or completing the thought will fix the error.

× I have tried listening to the YouTube and other other Internet website.

✓ I have tried listening to YouTube and other internet websites.

The definite article 'the' is not used before 'YouTube' because it is a proper noun. Also, 'website' should be plural 'websites' to match 'other'. 'Internet' should not be capitalized unless at the beginning of a sentence.

× I will have daughter, I would like to sing a song for her to enhance her more

✓ I will have a daughter, I would like to sing a song for her to encourage her more

The noun 'daughter' is singular and requires the indefinite article 'a'. Also, 'enhance her more' is unclear; 'encourage her more' or 'help her grow' would be more appropriate in this context.

× I didn't join any institute from the outside this school

✓ I didn't join any institute outside this school

The phrase 'from the outside this school' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'outside' without 'from the' to indicate location beyond the school.

× because it focus and it energizes their you know it innerize their body into positive energy.

✓ because it focuses and energizes their, you know, it internalizes their body into positive energy.

The verb 'focus' needs to be in third person singular form 'focuses' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'innerize' is not a standard English word; 'internalize' is the correct term. Commas are added for clarity.