Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và mạch lạc. Bạn nên sử dụng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh lỗi ngữ pháp và diễn đạt ý một cách tự nhiên hơn. Hãy cố gắng sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và tránh lặp từ không cần thiết.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it helps me express my emotions and relieve stress. Moreover, singing boosts my confidence, especially when I have the chance to perform in front of others.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn còn nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu chưa rõ ràng. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với câu chủ đề, sau đó giải thích thêm bằng các chi tiết cụ thể và sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp.

例: I have never taken formal singing lessons because my family is quite busy, so I usually learn to sing by myself by watching videos and practicing regularly.

提案: Bạn nên sử dụng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp. Hãy sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và cung cấp thêm chi tiết cụ thể để làm phong phú câu trả lời.

例: I want to sing for my family, especially my father, because we share the same passion for music. When we turn on the karaoke machine, we often sing and talk together, which brings us closer.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi, sử dụng câu chủ đề và các chi tiết hỗ trợ rõ ràng, đồng thời dùng từ vựng phù hợp và liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it allows people to express their emotions and boosts their confidence, which improves their overall mood.

× Actually, I have a big passionate about music.

✓ Actually, I have a big passion for music.

The word 'passionate' is an adjective, but here a noun is needed. The correct noun form is 'passion'. Also, the preposition 'about' should be 'for' when expressing strong liking or enthusiasm for something.

× When I listen to music, I can't express my emotions and rely on my stress when and moreover, it's helped me boost my confidence and when I have a chance to sing.

✓ When I listen to music, I can express my emotions and relieve my stress; moreover, it has helped me boost my confidence when I have a chance to sing.

The original sentence is confusing and contains several errors. 'Can't express' contradicts the intended meaning; it should be 'can express'. 'Rely on my stress' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'relieve my stress'. The sentence is run-on and needs to be split or connected properly. 'It's helped' should be 'it has helped' for clarity.

× I will ask by Alf.

✓ I will ask Alf.

The phrase 'ask by Alf' is incorrect. The preposition 'by' is unnecessary here. The correct structure is 'ask Alf'.

× Actually I live in a normal family and I can't easy to take a lot of time to give me learn star, uh, learn to sing by some classic.

✓ Actually, I live in a normal family and I can't easily take a lot of time to learn singing from classical music.

The phrase 'can't easy' is incorrect; the adverb form 'easily' should be used. 'Give me learn star' is unclear and incorrect; it seems the student meant 'learn singing'. 'By some classic' is incorrect; it should be 'from classical music' or 'classics'.

× So I just learn by myself.

✓ So I just learn by myself.

This sentence is correct and needs no correction.

× To be honest, I want to sing for my family, especially my father because my father and I same passions about music and when uh turn on their karaoke essence, I and my father will talk and sing a lot.

✓ To be honest, I want to sing for my family, especially my father, because my father and I share the same passion for music. When we turn on the karaoke machine, my father and I talk and sing a lot.

The phrase 'my father and I same passions' is incorrect; it should be 'my father and I share the same passion'. 'Turn on their karaoke essence' is unclear; likely meant 'karaoke machine'. The pronoun order 'I and my father' is unnatural; 'my father and I' is correct.

× Yeah, certainly music and singing brings many benefits for people who think who's singing, uh, is have someone express emotions boosts confident.

✓ Yeah, certainly music and singing bring many benefits to people who think singing helps them express emotions and boosts confidence.

'Music and singing brings' should be 'bring' due to plural subject. The phrase 'people who think who's singing' is unclear; it should be 'people who think singing helps them'. 'Is have someone express emotions boosts confident' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'helps them express emotions and boosts confidence'.