Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中出现了“studying”一词，可能是口误，应为“singing”，且句子结构稍显冗长，建议简化表达并注意用词准确。

例: Yes, I love singing because it helps me relax and express my feelings. For instance, when I'm stressed, singing my favorite songs instantly lifts my mood. Moreover, it is a great way to connect with others during social gatherings.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和重复词汇，且表达不够连贯，建议简化句子结构，避免口语填充词，增强逻辑连贯性。

例: Actually, I haven't formally learned how to sing. However, in high school, I joined the choir where I received basic vocal training and learned about pitch and rhythm. Singing has always been a passion of mine.

提案: 回答中语法错误较多，句子结构混乱，表达不清晰，建议分句表达，注意语法和逻辑连接词的使用。

例: I want to sing for my family and close friends because it makes them feel special and appreciated. This motivates me to improve my singing. Also, sharing music with loved ones creates a warm and joyful atmosphere that strengthens our bond.

提案: 回答中出现了“swimming”错误词汇，且有较多口语填充词，句子不够连贯，建议注意用词准确，减少口语填充词，增强表达的流畅性和逻辑性。

例: Yes, I believe singing can definitely bring happiness to people. It allows individuals to express their emotions and is very uplifting, especially when singing with others. For example, many people feel joyful and relaxed when they sing their favorite songs, which helps improve their mood.

× Additionally, it's a fun way to connect with others doing social gatherings.

✓ Additionally, it's a fun way to connect with others during social gatherings.

这里介词使用错误，应该用'during'表示在社交聚会期间，而不是用'doing'。

× Uh, were actually, I haven't learned how to sing, uh, I told myself.

✓ Uh, actually, I haven't learned how to sing, uh, I told myself.

句中'were'使用错误，应为副词'actually'，表示实际上。

× But when I was in high school, I took part in the choir when I received basic vocal training and learned about pitch and rhythm.

✓ But when I was in high school, I took part in the choir, where I received basic vocal training and learned about pitch and rhythm.

句子结构不清晰，两个'when'连接导致歧义，改为'where'使句意更明确。

× I wanna sing for my family and close friends only for them, feel special because they are supported and appreciate my efforts, which motivates me to perform better and better and additionally share music with loved ones.

✓ I wanna sing for my family and close friends only, so they feel special because they support and appreciate my efforts, which motivates me to perform better and better and additionally share music with loved ones.

原句中'for them, feel special'缺少主语，且'they are supported'用法不当，应为'they support'。

× Created warm and joyful atmosphere that strains our bond.

✓ It creates a warm and joyful atmosphere that strengthens our bond.

句子缺少主语和谓语，且用词错误，'strains'应为'strengthens'，表示加强关系。

× Yes, I believe swimming can definitely bring happiness to people soon.

✓ Yes, I believe singing can definitely bring happiness to people.

此处应为'singing'而非'swimming'，与上下文主题一致。

× It allows individuals to express their emotions and can be umm you know, very uplifting, especially when down with others and group acquired umm,

✓ It allows individuals to express their emotions and can be, umm, you know, very uplifting, especially when down with others in a group activity, umm,

介词使用不当，'down with others and group acquired'表达不清，改为'in a group activity'更合适。