Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽고 효과적이지만, 문장이 다소 길고 연결어 사용이 어색합니다. 좀 더 간결하게 표현하고, 'because'와 'moreover' 대신 자연스러운 연결어를 사용해 보세요.

例: Yes, I really love singing because it cheers me up. Also, when I feel excited, I often sing along to my favorite songs.

提案: 'but however'는 중복된 표현입니다. 문장을 더 간결하게 만들고, 조건문을 명확히 표현해 보세요.

例: Unfortunately, I have never learned how to sing, but if I have the chance, I would love to because I want to sing well.

提案: 답변이 구체적이고 내용이 좋지만, 문장이 길고 'because'가 반복되어 자연스럽지 않습니다. 연결어를 다양하게 사용해 문장을 다듬어 보세요.

例: I have never sung for anyone before, but if I get a chance, I would like to sing for my dad on his 60th birthday. In Korea, this birthday is very special, so singing for him would be meaningful.

提案: 문법 오류('I was really feel alive')가 있고, 문장이 길고 연결어 사용이 어색합니다. 문장을 간결하게 하고, 문법을 정확히 사용하세요.

例: Of course, singing brings happiness. For example, I went to a concert last night where the audience sang along to the last song, and everyone looked very happy. I also felt alive.

× Yes, I really love to sing because whenever I listen to my favorite songs, they can help me and moreover, if I got more excited or more enthusiastic, I even sing along to the whole song.

✓ Yes, I really love to sing because whenever I listen to my favorite songs, they can help me and moreover, if I get more excited or more enthusiastic, I even sing along to the whole song.

The modal verb usage here involves the conditional clause 'if I got more excited'. Since this is a present or general condition, the correct form is 'if I get' (present simple) rather than 'got' (past simple). Using 'got' incorrectly suggests a past or unreal condition, which does not fit the context.

× Unfortunately, I have not, but however, even if I have some opportunity to learn how to sing, I would love to do it because I would like to sing like a good singer.

✓ Unfortunately, I have not, but even if I have some opportunity to learn how to sing, I would love to do it because I would like to sing like a good singer.

The phrase 'but however' is redundant because both 'but' and 'however' serve as conjunctions to contrast ideas. Using both together is incorrect. Removing 'however' corrects the sentence structure and improves clarity.

× Of course it does because for example I went to a concert last night and the audiences sang along the last song of the concert and everyone seemed really happy and also I was really feel alive.

✓ Of course it does because for example I went to a concert last night and the audience sang along to the last song of the concert and everyone seemed really happy and also I really felt alive.

The word 'audiences' is plural and usually refers to multiple groups of people in different events. Here, it should be singular 'audience' to refer to the group at one concert. Also, 'sang along the last song' is missing the preposition 'to'. Additionally, 'I was really feel alive' is incorrect; it should be 'I really felt alive' to use the past tense verb correctly.

× ...and the audiences sang along the last song of the concert...

✓ ...and the audience sang along to the last song of the concert...

The verb phrase 'sing along' requires the preposition 'to' before the object. Omitting 'to' is a common preposition error. Correct usage is 'sing along to' something.

× ...and also I was really feel alive.

✓ ...and also I really felt alive.

The phrase 'I was really feel alive' mixes past tense 'was' with base form 'feel', which is incorrect. The correct past tense form is 'felt'. Also, 'was' is unnecessary here. The correct sentence is 'I really felt alive'.