Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite natural and clear, but try to avoid redundancy and make your sentences more concise. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, instead of saying "during holidays or perhaps just to kill time when we don't have to work," you can say "during holidays or whenever we have free time."

例: Yes, I definitely enjoy singing because it is one of my favorite hobbies. I often ask my spouse to sing with me during holidays or whenever we have free time. Singing helps me feel alive and relaxed, which is why I love it so much.

提案: Your answer has some unclear parts and grammatical errors that affect clarity. Try to organize your ideas clearly with correct grammar and avoid incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: To be honest, I have never taken singing lessons. If I had the chance, I would definitely grab the opportunity. However, I currently don't have enough time or budget to attend classes.

提案: Your answer is heartfelt and clear, but try to avoid repeating the same idea and use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, be careful with verb tenses and sentence structure.

例: The first person I want to sing for is my little boy. He is three years old and loves to sing. Singing to him makes me feel happy and joyful, especially when I see the sparkle in his eyes.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and lacks specific supporting details. Try to finish your ideas and provide clear reasons with examples. Use linking words to organize your points logically.

例: I absolutely agree that singing can bring happiness to people. Firstly, it allows people to express their emotions freely. Secondly, singing helps to relieve stress and improve mood, which contributes to overall happiness.

× To be frank was the you.

✓ To be frank, it was you.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing punctuation, making it unclear. The corrected sentence places the words in a proper order and adds a comma after 'To be frank' to improve clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I'm quite unfortunate that I haven't had any experience with singing lessons.

✓ I'm quite unfortunate that I haven't had any experience with singing lessons.

This sentence is grammatically correct in terms of tense; no correction needed here.

× What I'm trying to say is if only I was given a chance I would grab the opportunity.

✓ What I'm trying to say is that if only I were given a chance, I would grab the opportunity.

The sentence lacks the conjunction 'that' to connect clauses properly and uses 'was' instead of the subjunctive 'were' for hypothetical situations. Adding 'that' and using 'were' improves grammatical accuracy.

× However, I really don't have time and also the budget to.

✓ However, I really don't have the time or the budget to do so.

The original sentence ends abruptly and lacks the object of 'to'. Adding 'do so' completes the thought. Also, 'the time' is more appropriate than just 'time' in this context, and 'or' is better than 'and also' for listing alternatives.

× The first person that comes to my mind that I wanted to sing for is my little boy.

✓ The first person that comes to my mind that I want to sing for is my little boy.

The sentence mixes present and past tense ('comes' and 'wanted'). Since the question is about current desire, 'want' should be used instead of 'wanted' to maintain tense consistency.

× I have my three-year old son that loves to sing and singing to him makes me feel happy and joyful seeing the sparkling eyes of my little son.

✓ I have a three-year-old son who loves to sing, and singing to him makes me feel happy and joyful when I see the sparkle in his eyes.

The sentence has awkward phrasing and run-on structure. 'My' before 'three-year-old son' is unnecessary; 'a' is more appropriate. 'That' should be 'who' when referring to people. The latter part is rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× One of the reasons I could think of is that singing allows you to express your emotion.

✓ One of the reasons I can think of is that singing allows you to express your emotions.

The tense should be present ('can think') to match the current opinion. 'Emotion' should be plural ('emotions') because people usually express multiple feelings.

× Second, singing also allows you to take out.

✓ Second, singing also allows you to let out your feelings.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'let out your feelings' completes the thought and clarifies the meaning.