Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and use correct verb forms, for example, say 'refresh my mind' as 'refreshes my mind'. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid redundancy. You can say: "Yes, I like singing because it refreshes my mind and helps me relax. I usually sing alone in my room."

例: Yes, I like singing because it refreshes my mind and helps me relax. I usually sing alone in my room.

提案: Focus on correct tense and sentence structure. Avoid filler words like 'uh'. Use plural forms correctly and be clear. For example, say 'I joined singing classes at my school' instead of 'I'll join a singing classes'. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I learned singing in my childhood. I joined singing classes at my school where my teacher explained different techniques. Although I'm not a professional singer, I enjoy singing small songs.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words properly to connect ideas. For example, say 'I would like to sing for my close family because they appreciate my efforts, which motivates me to perform better. Moreover, sharing music with loved ones creates a warm and joyful atmosphere.'

例: I would like to sing for my close family because they appreciate my efforts, which motivates me to perform better. Moreover, sharing music with loved ones creates a warm and joyful atmosphere.

提案: Avoid long, run-on sentences and repetition. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, say 'Yes, I believe singing brings happiness to people. I often sing with my family and close friends. Recently, I sang a song with them, and their appreciation motivated me to improve.'

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness to people. I often sing with my family and close friends. Recently, I sang a song with them, and their appreciation motivated me to improve.

× Yes, I like uh singing because singing is the best way for refresh my mind and I feel relaxed and I mostly sing a song in my room.

✓ Yes, I like uh singing because singing is the best way to refresh my mind and I feel relaxed and I mostly sing songs in my room.

The phrase 'for refresh' is incorrect; after 'way', the correct form is 'to refresh' using the infinitive verb form. Also, 'a song' should be plural 'songs' to indicate general activity. This improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.

× I was alone.

✓ I was alone.

No correction needed here; the sentence is grammatically correct in past tense.

× Yes, I learned uh singing in my childhood.

✓ Yes, I learned singing in my childhood.

The sentence is correct in past tense; 'uh' is a filler and can be omitted for clarity.

× I'll join a singing classes in my school and my teacher explain the all singing and I sing a small songs but I'm not a professional singer but I mostly sing a song.

✓ I joined singing classes in my school, and my teacher explained all the singing techniques. I sang small songs, but I'm not a professional singer; I mostly sing songs.

'I'll join' is future tense but the context is past, so it should be 'I joined'. 'Explain' should be past tense 'explained' to match the past context. 'A singing classes' is incorrect; 'classes' is plural, so 'a' should be removed. 'A small songs' is incorrect; 'songs' is plural, so 'small' should be 'small songs' without 'a'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Who do you want to sing for?

✓ Who do you want to sing for?

No correction needed; the question is grammatically correct.

× I would like to sing for my family and close the family.

✓ I would like to sing for my family and close relatives.

'Close the family' is incorrect; 'close relatives' or 'close family members' is the correct phrase to express close relations.

× Singing for them feels especially because they are appreciated my efforts and which motivated me to perform better.

✓ Singing for them feels special because they appreciate my efforts, which motivates me to perform better.

'Feels especially' should be 'feels special'. 'They are appreciated my efforts' is incorrect; it should be 'they appreciate my efforts'. 'Which motivated me' should be 'which motivates me' to maintain present tense consistency.

× Additionally, sharing music and loved ones create a warm and joyful atmosphere.

✓ Additionally, sharing music with loved ones creates a warm and joyful atmosphere.

The phrase 'sharing music and loved ones' is incorrect; it should be 'sharing music with loved ones'. Also, 'create' should be 'creates' to agree with the singular subject 'sharing'.

× Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people and I mostly sing with my family and my close friends and relatives and in my last time I sang a song with my family and I appreciate my efforts and which motivates me to perform better and.

✓ Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people. I mostly sing with my family, close friends, and relatives. Recently, I sang a song with my family. I appreciate my efforts, which motivates me to perform better.

The original sentence is a run-on and has tense inconsistencies. 'In my last time' is incorrect; 'Recently' is better. 'I appreciate my efforts and which motivates me' is incorrect; it should be 'I appreciate my efforts, which motivates me'. The sentence is split for clarity and corrected for tense and grammar.