Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors which affect naturalness and effectiveness. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use correct grammar. For example, say "No, I don't like singing because I feel uncomfortable singing in front of people."

例: No, I don't like singing because I feel shy to perform in front of others. I have never considered taking singing lessons as I prefer to keep it private.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and has grammatical mistakes. Respond directly and use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, "No, I have never learnt singing formally because it is not my hobby."

例: No, I have never learnt singing formally because it is not something I enjoy. Therefore, I have not taken any lessons or training.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and lengthy. Use a clear topic sentence and linking words to express your idea effectively. For example, "Although I don't like singing, if I get a chance in the future, I would like to dedicate a song to my parents because I love them."

例: Although I don't enjoy singing, if I ever get the opportunity, I would like to sing a song dedicated to my parents to show my love and appreciation.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words and avoid redundancy. For example, "Yes, singing can bring happiness to people because it helps relieve stress. For instance, when I am stressed, I sing loudly, which makes me feel calm and peaceful."

例: Yes, singing can bring happiness to people because it helps reduce stress. For example, when I feel stressed, I sing loudly, and it makes me feel calm and peaceful.

× No, I really do not like a single.

✓ No, I really do not like singing at all.

The phrase 'a single' is incorrectly used here. The student likely meant to express a complete dislike for singing. Using 'singing at all' correctly conveys this meaning.

× I never ever thought about singing and take a license for the to learn the singing as I do not like to sing in front of the people and in the formal stage.

✓ I have never thought about singing or taking lessons to learn singing because I do not like to sing in front of people or on formal stages.

The original sentence misuses prepositions and articles ('take a license for the to learn the singing'). The correct preposition is 'taking lessons' instead of 'take a license'. Also, 'in front of the people' should be 'in front of people', and 'in the formal stage' should be 'on formal stages'.

× As far as I know, I do not like to sing a song, so I never thought about to learn singing in a formal way.

✓ As far as I know, I do not like to sing songs, so I have never thought about learning singing in a formal way.

The phrase 'thought about to learn' is incorrect; it should be 'thought about learning'. Also, 'sing a song' is better expressed as 'sing songs' in this context.

× Usually singing a song that is not been my hobby so I never thought to learn enough singing.

✓ Usually singing songs has not been my hobby, so I have never thought about learning enough singing.

The phrase 'that is not been my hobby' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'has not been my hobby'. Also, 'thought to learn' should be 'thought about learning'.

× Who do you want to sing for?

✓ Whom do you want to sing for?

The correct object pronoun after 'for' is 'whom' instead of 'who'.

× As I know I really don't like singing but in future I have the chance to sing a song and a former occasion I would like to sing or dedicated a song to my family especially for my parents as I love.

✓ As far as I know, I really don't like singing, but in the future, if I have the chance to sing a song on a formal occasion, I would like to sing or dedicate a song to my family, especially my parents, whom I love.

The phrase 'in future' should be 'in the future'. 'Former occasion' should be 'formal occasion'. 'Dedicated' should be 'dedicate'. Also, 'especially for my parents as I love' is incomplete and corrected to 'especially my parents, whom I love'.

× Yes, definitely singing can bring a happiness to the people, although it depends on the individuals.

✓ Yes, definitely singing can bring happiness to people, although it depends on the individuals.

The article 'a' before 'happiness' is incorrect because 'happiness' is an uncountable noun and should not have an article here. Also, 'the people' is better as 'people' in general.

× But it's for my experience when I was when I was in stress, I just loudly, loudly sing a song.

✓ From my experience, when I was stressed, I just sang a song loudly.

The original sentence has redundancy ('when I was when I was') and incorrect tense ('sing' instead of 'sang'). Also, 'in stress' should be 'stressed'. The adverb 'loudly' should come after the verb.

× It gives me calm and very peaceful.

✓ It makes me feel calm and very peaceful.

'Calm' and 'peaceful' are adjectives describing feelings, so the sentence needs a verb like 'makes me feel' to connect properly. 'Gives me calm' is incorrect usage.