Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınızda fikirlerinizi daha net ve olumlu bir şekilde ifade etmeye çalışın. Olumsuz ifadeler yerine, neden çocukken şarkı söylemenin daha keyifli olduğunu ve şu an neden daha az sevdiğinizi açıklayın. Ayrıca, cümlelerinizi daha kısa ve anlaşılır tutun.

例: I used to enjoy singing a lot when I was a child because my voice sounded sweet and it was fun. However, as I grew older, I felt less confident about my voice, so I don't sing as much now.

提案: Cevabınızı daha düzenli ve akıcı hale getirmek için bağlaçlar kullanın ve ifadelerinizi netleştirin. Ayrıca, 'UMM' gibi belirsiz ifadelerden kaçının veya açıklayın. Detayları daha spesifik verin.

例: Yes, I learned how to sing when I was a child by joining my school's choir. The school selected me to be part of the group, and I performed at many events across Turkey. I believe I am a good singer.

提案: Cevabınızı daha açık ve pozitif yapmaya çalışın. Kendi mutluluğunuz için şarkı söylemek istediğinizi belirtirken, başkaları için de şarkı söylemenin anlamını ve değerini açıklayabilirsiniz.

例: If I were to sing, I would do it mainly for myself because it makes me happy. However, I also enjoy singing for others because it can bring joy to them as well.

提案: Cevabınızda şarkı söylemenin insanlara nasıl mutluluk getirdiğini daha duygusal ve anlamlı bir şekilde açıklayın. Para kazanmanın mutlulukla doğrudan ilişkili olduğunu söylemek yerine, şarkı söylemenin ruh halini nasıl iyileştirdiğini veya insanları nasıl bir araya getirdiğini anlatın.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness to people because it allows them to express their emotions and connect with others. Music often lifts people's spirits and creates a joyful atmosphere.

× I used to like singing but when you grow up your voice gets annoying and stupid but in your childhood it's more sweet and great and more fun to sing.

✓ I used to like singing but when you grow up your voice gets annoying and stupid, but in your childhood it was sweeter, greater, and more fun to sing.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses inconsistently. 'It's' should be 'it was' to maintain past tense when referring to childhood. Also, comparative adjectives should be used correctly: 'more sweet' should be 'sweeter', 'more great' should be 'greater'.

× I used to like singing but when you grow up your voice gets annoying and stupid but in your childhood it's more sweet and great and more fun to sing.

✓ I used to like singing but when you grow up your voice gets annoying and stupid, but in my childhood it was sweeter, greater, and more fun to sing.

The pronoun 'your' is inconsistent with the speaker's perspective. It should be 'my' when referring to the speaker's own childhood.

× In childhood, I was on the school choir.

✓ In childhood, I was in the school choir.

The phrase 'was on the school choir' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'in' for membership in a group or choir.

× In childhood, I was on the school choir.

✓ In childhood, I was in the school choir.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect here; 'in' is used to indicate membership or participation in a group.

× The school choose UMM among students and they chose me.

✓ The school chose UMM among students and they chose me.

The verb 'choose' is in present tense but the sentence refers to past events; it should be 'chose'.

× The school choose UMM among students and they chose me.

✓ The school chose UMM among students and they chose me.

The verb 'choose' should be in past tense 'chose' to match the past context.

× The school choose UMM among students and they chose me.

✓ The school chose UMM among students, and they chose me.

No pronoun error here; the sentence is fine after correcting verb tense.

× I performed lots of places in Turkey.

✓ I performed in lots of places in Turkey.

The verb 'performed' is correct past tense, but the preposition 'in' is missing before 'lots of places'.

× I performed lots of places in Turkey.

✓ I performed in lots of places in Turkey.

The verb 'performed' requires the preposition 'in' to indicate location.

× If I want to sing, then I would sing for myself if it makes me happy, if it's paying my bills, yeah, that's all I was thinking for myself.

✓ If I wanted to sing, then I would sing for myself if it made me happy and if it paid my bills. Yeah, that's all I think about for myself.

The conditional sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. The correct second conditional form uses past tense in the 'if' clause and 'would' in the main clause. Also, 'was thinking' should be 'think' to match the present context.

× No one should sing for anybody else.

✓ No one should sing for anyone else.

'Anybody' is less common in negative sentences; 'anyone' is more appropriate here.

× I think, yeah, it brings happiness to people because it can give you money.

✓ I think, yeah, it brings happiness to people because it can give them money.

The pronoun 'you' is informal and inconsistent; 'them' refers back to 'people' correctly.