Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có nhiều từ thừa như "you know" làm giảm tính tự nhiên và hiệu quả. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp, tránh lặp lại và sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn.

例: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions and connect with the meaning of the lyrics.

提案: Bạn nên tránh sử dụng từ ngữ không cần thiết như "UMM" và câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn về thời gian và quá trình học hát. Hãy sử dụng liên từ để làm câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I learned how to sing when I was in primary school because music is important to me. For instance, I practiced singing regularly since I was three years old.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn khá tốt nhưng có thể cải thiện bằng cách sử dụng từ vựng phong phú hơn và tránh lặp từ như "romantic" nhiều lần. Bạn cũng nên dùng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: I've always dreamed of singing for my partner at our wedding because it would be a heartfelt and meaningful gesture. For example, many husbands perform songs for their wives, which creates a memorable and loving atmosphere.

提案: Bạn nên chú ý đến việc sử dụng từ chính xác, ví dụ "forgettable" có nghĩa ngược lại với ý bạn muốn nói. Ngoài ra, hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời trôi chảy và thêm chi tiết cụ thể hơn.

例: Yes, singing can definitely bring happiness to people. For instance, when husbands sing for their wives, it creates a special and unforgettable moment that strengthens their relationship.

× Well, I'm really fond of singing is, you know, my way to express my emotions and feelings through, you know, the reason and the lyrics, you know, just feeling.

✓ Well, I'm really fond of singing; it's, you know, my way to express my emotions and feelings through the rhythm and the lyrics, you know, just feeling.

The original sentence has a sentence structure error due to the incorrect use of 'is' after 'singing' and unclear phrasing. The correction removes 'is' and clarifies 'the reason' to 'the rhythm' to make the sentence grammatically correct and clearer.

× UMM, well, I've learned singing in my UMM primary school because music is a part of my career.

✓ UMM, well, I learned singing in my UMM primary school because music is a part of my career.

The use of present perfect 'I've learned' is inappropriate here because the action happened at a specific time in the past (primary school). The simple past 'I learned' is correct for completed past actions.

× For example, I remember UMM practicing singing a lot when I was 3.

✓ For example, I remember practicing singing a lot when I was 3.

The insertion of 'UMM' is unnecessary and disrupts sentence flow. Removing it corrects the sentence structure and improves clarity.

× I've always seen many husbands perform songs for their wives, and it always creates a special and a forgettable moment.

✓ I've always seen many husbands perform songs for their wives, and it always creates a special and a memorable moment.

The word 'forgettable' contradicts the intended meaning. The correct adjective is 'memorable' to express a moment that is special and worth remembering.