Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Хариулт нь ойлгомжгүй бөгөөд утга санаа тодорхой бус байна. Илүү энгийн бөгөөд шууд хариулт өгч, дэмжих дэлгэрэнгүй мэдээлэл нэмэх хэрэгтэй. Мөн үгсийн зөв хэрэглээ, өгүүлбэрийн бүтэц сайжруулах шаардлагатай.

例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax and express my emotions. I often sing my favorite songs when I am happy or stressed.

提案: Хариулт нь ойлгомжгүй бөгөөд хэллэгийн алдаа их байна. Илүү тодорхой, энгийн өгүүлбэр ашиглаж, сөрөг өгүүлбэрийг зөв хэлбэрээр илэрхийлэх хэрэгтэй.

例: No, I have never taken singing lessons, but I enjoy singing songs without worrying about the notes.

提案: Хариулт нь сэдвээс хазайсан бөгөөд утга санаа бүрэн илэрхийлэгдээгүй байна. Илүү тодорхой, логик холбоотой өгүүлбэрүүдээр хариултыг өргөжүүлэх хэрэгтэй.

例: I want to sing for my future wife because I think it is a romantic way to show my feelings. I hope she will appreciate it when we get married in August.

提案: Хариулт нь давтагдсан, утга санаа тодорхой бус байна. Илүү тодорхой, логик холбоотой өгүүлбэр ашиглаж, санаагаа илэрхийлэх хэрэгтэй.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because even if people cannot sing well, they enjoy listening to music and singing along, which makes them feel joyful.

× I like singing, but I can sing.

✓ I like singing, and I can sing.

The original sentence uses 'but' incorrectly to connect two positive statements. 'But' is used to show contrast, but here both clauses are positive, so 'and' is more appropriate.

× However we can explain it can by work.

✓ However, we can explain it by work.

The sentence structure is incorrect and confusing. The phrase 'can by work' is ungrammatical. Adding a comma after 'However' and removing 'can' before 'by work' improves clarity.

× We can explain it can by work.

✓ We can explain it by work.

The phrase 'can by work' is incorrect. The modal verb 'can' is unnecessary here and should be removed to correct the sentence.

× We can explain it by singing.

✓ We can explain it by singing.

This sentence is grammatically correct and needs no correction.

× No, I never have ever learned how to sing but I think so it's if unless it not have notes I can sing.

✓ No, I have never learned how to sing, but I think that if there are no notes, I can sing.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and tense usage. 'Never have ever learned' is redundant; 'have never learned' is correct. The phrase 'it's if unless it not have notes' is ungrammatical and should be rephrased to 'if there are no notes'.

× No, I never have ever learned how to sing but I think so it's if unless it not have notes I can sing.

✓ No, I have never learned how to sing, but I think that if there are no notes, I can sing.

The pronoun 'it' is used incorrectly to refer to 'notes'. 'Notes' is plural, so 'there are' is appropriate instead of 'it not have'.

× That's incredible.

✓ That's incredible.

This sentence is correct and requires no correction.

× I want to sing my future wife because it's romantic and if I sing for her, she may be. Agree.

✓ I want to sing for my future wife because it's romantic, and if I sing for her, she may agree.

The verb 'sing' requires the preposition 'for' when indicating the person you sing to. Also, 'she may be. Agree.' is fragmented and should be combined into 'she may agree'.

× My marriage, August.

✓ My marriage is in August.

The original phrase is a fragment lacking a verb. Adding 'is in' completes the sentence.

× It's obviously, of course singing can bring happiness to people because every people may Can't Sing, but every people like to listen to music and they can't, but they like to sing too.

✓ It's obvious, of course singing can bring happiness to people because not everyone can sing, but everyone likes to listen to music, and even if they can't sing, they like to sing too.

The phrase 'every people' is incorrect; 'everyone' or 'not everyone' is appropriate. Also, 'may Can't Sing' is ungrammatical and should be 'not everyone can sing'. The sentence is also run-on and needs commas and conjunctions for clarity.