Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is good but try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Also, use correct plural forms and word order. For example, say 'I have loved singing since I was a child' and 'I sing different kinds of music that make me feel peaceful.'

例: Yes, I like singing very much because it has been my passion since childhood. I enjoy singing various types of music, which helps me feel calm and peaceful.

提案: Try to improve grammar and sentence clarity. Instead of 'didn't learn', say 'haven't learned'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, 'Although I haven't had formal lessons due to financial reasons, I sometimes watch YouTube videos to learn different types of music that interest me.'

例: Although I haven't taken formal singing lessons because of financial constraints, I often watch YouTube tutorials to learn various music styles that I like.

提案: Your idea is clear but the sentence is a bit awkward. Use simpler and clearer expressions. For example, say 'I like to sing for myself because it makes me feel better and gives me inner peace.' Avoid complex phrases like 'peaceful empowerment' and 'good boundaries'.

例: I prefer to sing for myself because it helps me feel happier and brings me inner peace.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence structure. Instead of 'to other one', say 'to others'. For example, 'Yes, singing can definitely bring happiness because it allows people to express their emotions to others.'

例: Yes, singing can definitely bring happiness to people because it is a way to express their emotions to others.

× I sing different kinds of musics which makes feel me so peaceful.

✓ I sing different kinds of music which make me feel so peaceful.

The word 'music' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'musics'. Also, 'which' refers to 'kinds', which is plural, so the verb should be 'make' instead of 'makes'. The phrase 'makes feel me' is incorrect; the correct order is 'make me feel'.

× Actually, I didn't learn how to sing because my financial condition is not so good.

✓ Actually, I haven't learned how to sing because my financial condition is not so good.

The present perfect tense 'have/has learned' is more appropriate here to indicate an experience up to now. 'Didn't learn' suggests a completed action in the past, but the context implies the learning has not happened yet.

× Sometimes I watch YouTube videos from I can learn many types of music which I'm interested in.

✓ Sometimes I watch YouTube videos from which I can learn many types of music that I'm interested in.

The preposition 'from' should be followed by 'which' to correctly link the clause. Also, 'which' should be replaced by 'that' when referring to 'types of music' in restrictive clauses.

× I want to sing for myself because singing makes me feel so much better and gives me a peaceful empowerment which creates a good boundaries within myself.

✓ I want to sing for myself because singing makes me feel so much better and gives me peaceful empowerment which creates good boundaries within myself.

The article 'a' before 'peaceful empowerment' is unnecessary because 'empowerment' is an uncountable noun here. Also, 'a good boundaries' is incorrect because 'boundaries' is plural; it should be 'good boundaries' without 'a'.

× Yeah, for sure singing can bring happiness to people because it is the way of uh, expressing their emotions to other one.

✓ Yeah, for sure singing can bring happiness to people because it is a way of expressing their emotions to others.

The phrase 'the way of uh' should be 'a way of' to indicate one of many ways. 'Other one' is incorrect; the correct plural pronoun is 'others' when referring to people in general.