Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is good but try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, instead of saying 'first of all' and 'secondly', you can use linking words like 'because' and 'also'. Also, correct 'recreational activity' to 'recreational activities' to match plural form.

例: I enjoy singing because it helps me reduce stress and lift my mood. Also, I like to sing with my friends and family as a fun recreational activity.

提案: Your answer is clear but can be more natural and concise. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'try learning' and 'Internet using online platform'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Although I haven't attended a singing school, I have been learning proper singing techniques and how to protect my voice by watching free tutorials on YouTube.

提案: Your answer is heartfelt but a bit long and repetitive. Try to make your sentences shorter and clearer. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to connect ideas logically.

例: I want to sing for myself because I have loved singing since I was a child. Singing helps me feel proud and see my skills improve over time.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words. For example, replace 'negative emotions or stressed' with 'negative emotions or stress'. Also, connect your ideas with words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Of course, I believe singing can bring joy to people because it helps relieve negative emotions and stress. I hope more people discover this benefit and feel happier through singing.

× Secondly, it's one of my favorite recreational activity to do with my friends or my family.

✓ Secondly, it's one of my favorite recreational activities to do with my friends or my family.

The word 'activity' should be plural 'activities' because it refers to one of multiple favorite recreational activities. Using singular here is incorrect when referring to one among many.

× Even though I haven't gone to singing school yet, I try learning the correct way of singing and voice protection myself from YouTube videos or Internet using online platform and I think it's better because it's free.

✓ Even though I haven't gone to singing school yet, I try to learn the correct way of singing and voice protection myself from YouTube videos or the Internet using online platforms and I think it's better because it's free.

The verb 'try' should be followed by the infinitive form 'to learn' instead of the gerund 'learning'. Also, 'Internet' should have the definite article 'the' and 'platform' should be plural 'platforms' to be grammatically correct.

× Even though I haven't gone to singing school yet, I try learning the correct way of singing and voice protection myself from YouTube videos or Internet using online platform and I think it's better because it's free.

✓ Even though I haven't gone to singing school yet, I try to learn the correct way of singing and voice protection myself through YouTube videos or the Internet using online platforms and I think it's better because it's free.

The preposition 'from' is incorrect here; 'through' is more appropriate when referring to learning by means of videos or the Internet.

× Even though I haven't gone to singing school yet, I try learning the correct way of singing and voice protection myself from YouTube videos or Internet using online platform and I think it's better because it's free.

✓ Even though I haven't gone to singing school yet, I try to learn the correct way of singing and to protect my voice myself from YouTube videos or the Internet using online platforms and I think it's better because it's free.

The phrase 'voice protection myself' is incorrect. It should be 'to protect my voice myself' to correctly express the action and reflexive pronoun usage.

× I really hope people can discover more of that.

✓ I really hope people can discover more about that.

The verb 'discover' is usually followed by the preposition 'about' when referring to learning or finding out more information about something.