Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: คำตอบของคุณดีที่แสดงความชอบและเหตุผล แต่ควรปรับปรุงให้ประโยคสั้นลงและใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล เช่น ใช้ 'because' อย่างเหมาะสม และแก้ไขไวยากรณ์ เช่น 'a long busy days' ควรเป็น 'a long busy day'

例: Yes, I like singing, especially with my friends, because it boosts my confidence and energy after a long, busy day.

提案: คำตอบมีความชัดเจนแต่ควรปรับปรุงโครงสร้างประโยคให้กระชับและลื่นไหลมากขึ้น รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น 'but' หรือ 'so' เพื่อเชื่อมประโยค และแก้ไขไวยากรณ์ เช่น 'You just sing it out loud and refresh my mood' ควรเป็น 'I just sing out loud to refresh my mood'

例: No, I have never learned to sing properly because I'm not a professional. But I often sing with my friends when I'm tired, so it helps refresh my mood and boost my energy.

提案: คำตอบควรปรับปรุงให้ชัดเจนและเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น โดยลดความซ้ำซ้อนและแก้ไขไวยากรณ์ เช่น 'Is all my desire to sing as good as I can' ควรเป็น 'It is my desire to sing as well as I can' และใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหล

例: I would sing for myself because after working hard every day, singing helps me feel more confident and energetic. It is my desire to sing as well as I can.

提案: คำตอบควรปรับปรุงให้สมบูรณ์และลื่นไหลมากขึ้น โดยหลีกเลี่ยงประโยคที่ไม่สมบูรณ์ เช่น 'It can help boost your energy because.' และใช้คำเชื่อมที่เหมาะสม รวมถึงใช้คำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้อง เช่น 'crowded people' ควรเป็น 'a crowd'

例: Definitely, singing can bring happiness to people, especially when you are with a crowd and hear a street singer with a beautiful voice. It can brighten your day and boost your energy.

× it can help you boost your confidence and it can help boost your energy after a long busy days.

✓ it can help you boost your confidence and it can help boost your energy after a long busy day.

The phrase 'a long busy days' incorrectly combines a singular article 'a' with the plural noun 'days'. The correct form is 'a long busy day' to maintain singular agreement.

× No, I have never learned how to sing properly because I am not a professional singer.

✓ No, I have never learnt how to sing properly because I am not a professional singer.

The verb 'learned' is the American English past tense form, while 'learnt' is the British English form. Since the rest of the transcript uses British English spelling (e.g., 'learnt'), consistency requires using 'learnt'.

× I often sing with my friends when I feel tired with a busy day as it helps to boost my energy.

✓ I often sing with my friends when I feel tired after a busy day as it helps to boost my energy.

The preposition 'with' is incorrectly used to indicate time or cause. The correct preposition to express the time after an event is 'after'.

× You just sing it out loud and refresh my mood, that's it.

✓ I just sing out loud and refresh my mood, that's it.

The pronoun 'You' is incorrectly used when the speaker refers to their own action. It should be 'I' to match the subject performing the action.

× I would say that I would sing for myself because I work hard every day and I need myself to feel more confidence to bring my energy and boost my energy.

✓ I would say that I would sing for myself because I work hard every day and I need to feel more confident to bring and boost my energy.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' is incorrectly used as the object of 'need'. Also, 'confidence' should be the adjective form 'confident' to describe the feeling. The sentence is corrected for clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× Is all my desire to sing as good as I can.

✓ It is my desire to sing as well as I can.

The original sentence lacks a subject and proper verb form, making it incomplete. Adding 'It is' and correcting 'as good as' to 'as well as' improves sentence structure and meaning.

× especially when you gather with a crowded people when you saw a good voice of a singer from the street and it can help boost your day.

✓ especially when you gather with a crowd of people and hear a good voice from a street singer, it can help boost your day.

The phrase 'a crowded people' is incorrect; 'crowd of people' is the correct singular collective noun. Also, 'when you saw' should be 'and hear' to maintain tense consistency and clarity.

× It can help boost your energy because.

✓ It can help boost your energy.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'because' without completing the thought, making it incomplete. Removing 'because' completes the sentence properly.