Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. For example, instead of repeating 'I don't sing', say 'I usually don't sing, but sometimes I sing along when I listen to songs.'

例: No, I don't usually like singing. However, sometimes I sing along when I listen to songs. Singing is not my hobby, so I don't do it often.

提案: Focus on clear sentence structure and avoid redundancy. Use linking words like 'because' or 'although' to connect ideas logically. Also, correct grammar such as 'listening to music' instead of 'listening music'.

例: No, I have never learned how to sing because singing has not been my hobby since childhood. Although I enjoy listening to music, I only sing occasionally.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons. Also, avoid unnecessary phrases like 'I as I know'.

例: Sometimes I like to sing for my child because children enjoy songs very much. I believe that listening to music is good for their mental health.

提案: Make your answer more concise and natural. Use linking words like 'because' and avoid redundancy such as 'people can get more happiness and more joyful life' which can be simplified.

例: Yes, singing can bring happiness because it is a hobby that people enjoy. Engaging in hobbies like singing makes life more joyful.

× No, I don't like singing because I I don't sing usually.

✓ No, I don't like singing because I don't usually sing.

The adverb 'usually' should be placed before the main verb 'sing' in present tense sentences to maintain correct word order in English.

× Sometimes when I listen to songs I sing together with the song.

✓ Sometimes when I listen to songs, I sing along with the song.

The phrase 'sing together with the song' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'sing along with the song' to indicate singing in accompaniment.

× No, I haven't learned any time how to sing as singing is not my hobby since childhood, but listening music is my hobby along with music I sometimes sing.

✓ No, I have never learned how to sing as singing has not been my hobby since childhood, but listening to music is my hobby and sometimes I sing along with music.

The phrase 'any time' is incorrect here; 'never' is appropriate for negative experiences. Also, 'listening music' should be 'listening to music' as 'listen' requires the preposition 'to'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity and correctness.

× I as I know listen to music for children is very good for their mental health also.

✓ As far as I know, listening to music for children is very good for their mental health as well.

The phrase 'I as I know' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'As far as I know'. Also, 'listen to music for children' should be 'listening to music for children' to function as the subject. 'Also' is better replaced with 'as well' at the end for natural flow.

× Yes, it is obvious that singing can bring happiness to people because people who like singing it is their hobby and by fulfilling the hobby, people can get more happiness and more joyful life.

✓ Yes, it is obvious that singing can bring happiness to people because for those who like singing, it is their hobby, and by fulfilling this hobby, people can experience more happiness and a more joyful life.

The original sentence has redundant and awkward phrasing such as 'people who like singing it is their hobby'. The correction clarifies the subject and improves sentence flow and coherence.