Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct grammar and avoid redundancy. For example, say 'I like singing alone or at gatherings' instead of 'I like to singing a song with myself or when I'm in a. Gathering party.' Also, keep your answer clear and concise.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing alone or at social gatherings because it helps me relax and have fun.

提案: Use correct vocabulary and grammar. For example, 'soulfish classes' is unclear; you might mean 'vocal classes' or 'singing lessons.' Also, clarify your points and avoid vague phrases like 'in popularity.'

例: Yes, when I was younger, I took singing lessons and was part of a choir, where I gained experience singing solo and in a group.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity. For example, say 'I want to sing for people I feel comfortable with, such as my friends and family.' Avoid filler words like 'yeah, that's it.'

例: I prefer to sing for people I feel comfortable with, like my friends and family, because it makes me feel more relaxed.

提案: Use complete sentences and correct grammar. For example, say 'Yes, singing can bring happiness because it allows people to feel joy and release stress, whether they sing alone in the shower or in a group.'

例: Yes, singing brings happiness because it helps people feel joyful and relieve stress, whether they sing alone or with others.

× Yes, as I remember, I like to singing a song with myself or when I'm in a. Gathering party.

✓ Yes, as I remember, I like to sing a song by myself or when I'm at a gathering party.

The verb 'like' should be followed by the base form 'to sing' not 'to singing'. Also, 'with myself' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'by myself'. The preposition 'in' should be 'at' when referring to a gathering party.

× Yes, as I remember, I like to singing a song with myself or when I'm in a. Gathering party.

✓ Yes, as I remember, I like to sing a song by myself or when I'm at a gathering party.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'at' is the correct preposition to use with 'gathering party'. Also, 'with myself' should be 'by myself'.

× Yes, when I was younger I went to soulfish classes and I was in core group and we had some experience about singing alone or in popularity.

✓ Yes, when I was younger I went to soulfish classes and I was in the core group and we had some experience singing alone or in popularity.

The past tense 'went' and 'was' are correct. However, 'in core group' needs the definite article 'the'. Also, 'experience about singing' should be 'experience singing' without 'about'.

× Yes, when I was younger I went to soulfish classes and I was in core group and we had some experience about singing alone or in popularity.

✓ Yes, when I was younger I went to soulfish classes and I was in the core group and we had some experience singing alone or in popularity.

The phrase 'experience about singing' is incorrect; 'experience singing' is the correct form without 'about'.

× I want to sing for people who I'm comfortable with them and I have a good feeling when I with them and for example, my friend, my family and yeah, that's it.

✓ I want to sing for people with whom I'm comfortable and I have a good feeling when I am with them; for example, my friends, my family, and that's it.

The phrase 'people who I'm comfortable with them' is redundant; 'people with whom I'm comfortable' is correct. Also, 'when I with them' is missing the verb 'am'. 'Friend' should be plural 'friends' to match 'people'.

× I want to sing for people who I'm comfortable with them and I have a good feeling when I with them and for example, my friend, my family and yeah, that's it.

✓ I want to sing for people with whom I'm comfortable and I have a good feeling when I am with them; for example, my friends, my family, and that's it.

Avoid using both 'who' and 'them' together as it is redundant. Use 'with whom' instead. Also, the verb 'am' is missing after 'I'.

× Extremely yes because they can feel happiness and joy and release their when they are singing even they are in shower solo or when are when they are in a group.

✓ Extremely yes, because they can feel happiness and joy and release their emotions when they are singing, even when they are showering alone or when they are in a group.

The phrase 'release their' is incomplete; it should be 'release their emotions'. 'In shower solo' is incorrect; 'showering alone' is correct. Also, 'when are when they are' is redundant and should be simplified.