Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and a bit long. Try to start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific reasons using linking words. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrasing.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me express my emotions clearly. For example, when I sing, I feel less anxious and more relaxed.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and a bit confusing. Provide a clear and complete response with proper linking words. Avoid repetition and ensure your sentences are grammatically correct.

例: Yes, I learned some singing basics in school music classes. However, I have never taken in-depth singing lessons as I grew older.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be clearer and more natural. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar for smoother flow.

例: I would like to sing for my husband because it allows me to express my love more deeply, which helps strengthen our connection.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using more varied vocabulary and linking words to make it more natural and detailed.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it helps people relieve stress, reduce anxiety, and overcome boredom.

× Since childhood I think occasionally and I have been enjoying singing because I feel that with singing I can express my emotions very well and I can relieve all my anxiety.

✓ Since childhood, I have occasionally thought about it and have enjoyed singing because I feel that with singing I can express my emotions very well and relieve all my anxiety.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'I think occasionally' which disrupts the intended meaning and tense consistency. The phrase 'I have been enjoying' is acceptable but combining it with 'I think occasionally' is awkward. Changing to 'I have occasionally thought about it and have enjoyed singing' corrects the tense and clarifies the meaning.

× I have learnt music in school and to a lesser extent I have learned how to sing, but as I have grown up I have never learned singing in in depth and.

✓ I have learnt music in school and, to a lesser extent, I have learned how to sing, but as I have grown up, I have never learned singing in depth.

The sentence has a repeated word 'in' and an incomplete ending. Removing the extra 'in' and completing the sentence to 'in depth' corrects the structure. The use of present perfect tense 'have learnt' and 'have learned' is appropriate here.

× I would like to sing for my husband as by singing I would better able to express my love for him and this will help us in connecting more.

✓ I would like to sing for my husband as by singing I would be better able to express my love for him and this will help us connect more.

The phrase 'I would better able' is missing the modal verb 'be'. Adding 'be' after 'would' corrects the modal verb usage. Also, 'help us in connecting more' is better expressed as 'help us connect more' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, singing can bring happiness to people because by singing they can reduce the stress and anxiety and boredom.

✓ Yes, singing can bring happiness to people because by singing they can reduce stress, anxiety, and boredom.

The use of 'the' before 'stress and anxiety and boredom' is unnecessary because these are general conditions. Also, listing the items with commas improves clarity and correctness.