Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is good but you need to make it more natural and clear. Avoid starting with 'Why absolutely yes' which sounds unnatural. Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and be more specific about your feelings and experiences. For example, you can say, 'Yes, I really like singing because it has been a big part of my life since I was young. Growing up, my mom often took me to church evening services, and I enjoyed singing and praising God there. For instance, two years ago, I was invited to sing at my secondary school, which was a memorable experience.'

例: Yes, I really like singing because it has been a big part of my life since I was young. Growing up, my mom often took me to church evening services, and I enjoyed singing and praising God there. For instance, two years ago, I was invited to sing at my secondary school, which was a memorable experience.

提案: Your answer is understandable but it can be improved by making it more coherent and natural. Avoid repeating 'absolutely, yes' and try to use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, be more specific about what you learned and how you felt. For example, you can say, 'Yes, I have learned how to sing many songs from my friend Bola. We had rehearsals together where I practiced different songs, and I found the experience very enjoyable and fascinating.'

例: Yes, I have learned how to sing many songs from my friend Bola. We had rehearsals together where I practiced different songs, and I found the experience very enjoyable and fascinating.

提案: Your answer has good content but the grammar and sentence structure need improvement for clarity. Also, avoid redundancy and use linking words to make your answer flow better. For example, you can say, 'I have many people in mind, but I especially want to sing for my mom because she has been a great inspiration to me. She took care of me and my siblings while we were growing up. I hope to have a quiet moment with her to express my feelings and gratitude through a song.'

例: I have many people in mind, but I especially want to sing for my mom because she has been a great inspiration to me. She took care of me and my siblings while we were growing up. I hope to have a quiet moment with her to express my feelings and gratitude through a song.

提案: Your answer shows good ideas but some words are unclear or incorrect, like 'searing music'. Try to use correct vocabulary and linking words to make your answer clearer and more natural. For example, you can say, 'Certainly, singing has been a great motivation for me. The melodies can lift my mood and bring joy to my heart. I believe many people find happiness both in singing and listening to inspirational songs.'

例: Certainly, singing has been a great motivation for me. The melodies can lift my mood and bring joy to my heart. I believe many people find happiness both in singing and listening to inspirational songs.

× Why absolutely yes.

✓ Why, absolutely yes.

The sentence lacks a comma after 'Why' to separate the interjection from the rest of the sentence, making it clearer and grammatically correct.

× my mom normally goes to church evening services and I enjoy the atmosphere singing and praising to God.

✓ my mom normally goes to church evening services and I enjoy the atmosphere of singing and praising to God.

The phrase 'enjoy the atmosphere singing' is missing the preposition 'of' to correctly link 'atmosphere' with the gerund phrase 'singing and praising to God'.

× For instance, 2 years ago I was invited to sing for my secondary school.

✓ For instance, 2 years ago I was invited to sing for my secondary school choir.

The sentence is incomplete or unclear; adding 'choir' clarifies the plural group for which the student was invited to sing, making the sentence more precise.

× I have learned how to sing many songs from my friend Bola.

✓ I learned how to sing many songs from my friend Bola.

Since the action happened in the past and is completed, the simple past tense 'learned' is more appropriate than the present perfect 'have learned'.

× I went for a practice where we had our rehearsal on how to sing different songs and I did very well.

✓ I went to a practice where we had our rehearsal on how to sing different songs and I did very well.

The correct preposition to indicate attending a practice session is 'to' rather than 'for'.

× She has been a source of inspiration to me growing up and my mom took care of I am my siblings.

✓ She has been a source of inspiration to me growing up and my mom took care of me and my siblings.

The pronoun 'I am' is incorrect here; the correct object pronoun 'me' should be used after the preposition 'of'.

× I wish I can have a quiet moment with her where I will express how I feel and gratitude with a song I.

✓ I wish I could have a quiet moment with her where I will express how I feel and my gratitude with a song.

The sentence has tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing; 'can' should be 'could' to express a wish, and 'gratitude with a song I' is reordered to 'my gratitude with a song' for clarity.

× Certainly, it has been my biggest motivation and searing music that motivates me.

✓ Certainly, it has been my biggest motivation and singing music that motivates me.

The word 'searing' is incorrect here; the intended word is 'singing' to describe the music that motivates the speaker.