Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang terstruktur dan mengandung pengulangan yang tidak perlu. Cobalah untuk memberikan jawaban yang lebih singkat dan jelas dengan kalimat yang alami dan efektif. Hindari pengulangan dan gunakan kalimat yang langsung menjawab pertanyaan.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing even though I'm not very good at it. My family often teases me about my voice, but I sing just for fun and it makes me happy.

提案: Jawaban Anda sudah cukup jelas, namun ada beberapa kesalahan tata bahasa dan penggunaan kata yang kurang tepat. Cobalah untuk menggunakan kalimat yang lebih sederhana dan benar secara tata bahasa, serta tambahkan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

例: No, I have never learned how to sing because I don't think I have the talent. Instead, I prefer to express my creativity through other forms of art.

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang jelas dan terdapat kesalahan tata bahasa serta struktur kalimat yang membingungkan. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih sederhana dan langsung menjawab pertanyaan dengan jelas dan terstruktur.

例: I prefer to sing for myself because I don't think my voice is good enough to sing for others.

提案: Jawaban Anda mengandung pengulangan dan kalimat yang kurang jelas. Cobalah untuk menggunakan kalimat yang lebih terstruktur dan jelas dengan menggunakan kata penghubung yang tepat untuk menjelaskan alasan Anda.

例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because listening to music helps relax the mind and reduce stress.

× Every whenever I try to sing my mom would like your voice is so bad, why you keep singing, why you keep singing?

✓ Every time I try to sing, my mom says, 'Your voice is so bad, why do you keep singing? Why do you keep singing?'

The sentence incorrectly uses 'would like' and 'your' when referring to the speaker's voice. Also, the sentence structure is confusing. The correction clarifies the meaning and uses proper pronouns and verb forms.

× I have no interest for studying more about singing because I don't think that my skills are not there.

✓ I have no interest in studying more about singing because I don't think that my skills are sufficient.

The preposition 'for' is incorrect after 'interest'; it should be 'in'. Also, the phrase 'my skills are not there' is unclear; 'sufficient' better conveys the intended meaning.

× I think that my voice are so rare to sing to you by someone else beside me, so I want to sing for myself.

✓ I think that my voice is so rare to be sung to you by someone else besides me, so I want to sing for myself.

The subject 'voice' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' not 'are'. Also, 'beside' should be 'besides' to mean 'other than'.

× I think that my voice are so rare to sing to you by someone else beside me, so I want to sing for myself.

✓ I think that my voice is so rare to be sung to you by someone else besides me, so I want to sing for myself.

The preposition 'beside' is incorrect here; 'besides' means 'other than' and fits the context better.

× Me, myself of course, because I don't think that I can sing for anyone and I think that my voice are so rare to sing to you by someone else beside me, so I want to sing for myself.

✓ Me, myself, of course, because I don't think that I can sing for anyone, and I think that my voice is so rare to be sung to you by someone else besides me, so I want to sing for myself.

The phrase 'Me, myself of course' needs commas for clarity. Also, 'voice are' should be 'voice is' for subject-verb agreement.

× I have no interest for studying more about singing because I don't think that my skills are not there.

✓ I have no interest in studying more about singing because I don't think that my skills are sufficient.

The preposition 'for' after 'interest' is incorrect; it should be 'in'.

× I think that my voice are so rare to sing to you by someone else beside me, so I want to sing for myself.

✓ I think that my voice is so rare to be sung to you by someone else besides me, so I want to sing for myself.

The pronoun usage is incorrect; 'voice' is singular, so 'is' should be used instead of 'are'. Also, 'beside' should be 'besides'.

× I think singing can bring happiness to people because when you listen to music or to a singer, it can be relax your brain, your soul and it can, your stress can be more.

✓ I think singing can bring happiness to people because when you listen to music or a singer, it can relax your brain and your soul, and it can reduce your stress.

The phrase 'it can be relax your brain' is incorrect; 'can relax' is correct. Also, 'your stress can be more' is unclear and should be 'reduce your stress' to convey the intended meaning.