Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm, but it contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use simpler, clearer sentences and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of "I adore the singing because it act as a stressbuster activity," say "I love singing because it helps me relieve stress." Also, avoid phrases like "refresh mine" which are unclear.

例: Yes, I love singing because it helps me relieve stress and forget my worries. Singing refreshes my mind and makes me feel happier.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and wordy. Try to respond directly and clearly. For example, say "Yes, I learned to sing when I was in dance class, where my teacher helped me improve." Also, avoid unnecessary phrases like "as far as I know."

例: Yes, I learned how to sing during my dance classes, where my teacher guided me and helped me improve my singing skills.

提案: Your answer does not address the question properly and is unclear. The question asks who you want to sing for (e.g., family, friends, audience). Try to answer directly and add a reason. For example, "I want to sing for my family because they support me."

例: I want to sing for my family because they always encourage me and enjoy my performances.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by using more natural phrasing and linking words. For example, say "Yes, singing can bring happiness because it helps people forget their stress and relax. Moreover, it can lift their mood." Also, avoid repeating "the individual."

例: Yes, singing can bring happiness because it helps people forget their stress and relax their minds. Moreover, it can lift their mood and make them feel more positive.

× Definitely, I adore the singing because it act as a stressbuster activity and with the assistance of singing I can easily refresh mine and forget my old problems.

✓ Definitely, I adore singing because it acts as a stressbuster activity and with the assistance of singing I can easily refresh myself and forget my old problems.

The verb 'act' should be in the third person singular form 'acts' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'mine' is incorrectly used as a possessive pronoun here; the correct reflexive pronoun is 'myself'.

× As far as I know, when I was studying in the dance standard, then there was a class named as singing where I learned singing with the assistance of my teacher.

✓ As far as I know, when I was studying in the dance standard, there was a class called singing where I learned singing with the assistance of my teacher.

The phrase 'named as singing' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'called singing'. Also, 'then' is unnecessary and disrupts the sentence flow, so it should be removed.

× I was singing for songs.

✓ I was singing songs.

The phrase 'singing for songs' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'singing songs' without the preposition 'for'. This corrects the sentence structure and meaning.

× Definitely, the singing can bring happiness to the individual as the individual can forget their stress and relax their mind.

✓ Definitely, singing can bring happiness to individuals as they can forget their stress and relax their minds.

The sentence mixes singular and plural forms inconsistently. 'The individual' is singular but 'their' is plural. Changing to plural 'individuals' and 'they' makes the sentence consistent and natural.

× Apart from this, it helps to swing their mood.

✓ Apart from this, it helps to lift their mood.

The phrase 'helps to swing their mood' is incorrect and unnatural. The correct expression is 'helps to lift their mood' or 'improves their mood'. 'Swing' is not used in this context.