Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is meaningful but can be made more natural and concise. Try to avoid repeating the word 'singing' multiple times and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, keep your answer within 4-5 sentences for better effectiveness.

例: Yes, I love singing because it allows me to express emotions that words alone cannot convey. Through singing, I can share feelings that are often left unspoken, which makes it a powerful form of expression.

提案: Your answer has some hesitation and unclear phrasing. Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm'. Also, clarify your opinion with more precise language and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: No, I have never formally learned how to sing. However, since music plays a significant role in my country, I believe singing is more about expressing emotions naturally than formal training.

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some awkward phrasing like 'singing fashion'. Try to use simple and clear expressions. Also, avoid filler words and provide a direct topic sentence followed by supporting details with linking words.

例: I like to sing for my three-year-old toddler. Singing together brings us joy, and I enjoy sharing that happiness through music with him.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but needs clearer structure and grammar. Avoid repeating words unnecessarily and use linking words to connect your points logically. Also, be careful with singular/plural forms and sentence clarity.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it expresses emotions beyond words. It helps people release both joy and pain, which is very important for emotional well-being.

× Yes, I love to sing because with singing the emotion comes out and the words that are unspoken can be expressed through singing.

✓ Yes, I love singing because with singing the emotion comes out and the words that are unspoken can be expressed through singing.

The phrase 'love to sing' is not incorrect, but 'love singing' is more natural and idiomatic when expressing enjoyment of an activity in general. Using the gerund form 'singing' after 'love' is preferred in this context.

× No, I have never learned how to sing.

✓ No, I have never learnt how to sing.

In British English, 'learnt' is the past participle and past tense of 'learn', which fits better here as the speaker uses British English conventions. 'Learned' is more common in American English. Since the rest of the transcript suggests British English usage, 'learnt' is preferred.

× However, uh, being in a country where music is most important, I believe umm singing is never learned rather than expressed.

✓ However, uh, being in a country where music is most important, I believe umm singing is never learned but rather expressed.

The phrase 'never learned rather than expressed' is incorrect because 'rather than' is used to contrast two alternatives, but here the intended meaning is that singing is not learned but expressed. The correct conjunction is 'but rather' to show contrast.

× Currently my singing fashion will be always to my 3 year old toddler.

✓ Currently my singing style will always be to my 3-year-old toddler.

The phrase 'singing fashion' is incorrect; 'style' is the appropriate noun here. Also, '3 year old' should be hyphenated as '3-year-old' when used as an adjective. The word order 'will be always' is unnatural; 'will always be' is correct.

× I would like to sing with him and enjoy uh, the happiness that I get through singing.

✓ I would like to sing to him and enjoy, uh, the happiness that I get through singing.

The verb 'sing' is usually followed by the preposition 'to' when indicating the person you sing for. 'Sing with' implies singing together, which is not the intended meaning here.

× Yes, singing can bring happiness to the people because it is a emotion rather than just words it.

✓ Yes, singing can bring happiness to people because it is an emotion rather than just words.

The phrase 'the people' is incorrect here; 'people' without 'the' is more general and appropriate. Also, 'a emotion' is incorrect because 'emotion' starts with a vowel sound and requires 'an'. The phrase 'just words it' is ungrammatical and should be 'just words'.

× It is a way you release your happiness as well as pain, and I believe that is much more important in one's life.

✓ It is a way to release your happiness as well as pain, and I believe that is much more important in one's life.

The phrase 'a way you release' is missing the infinitive 'to' before the verb. The correct structure is 'a way to release'. This correction improves sentence clarity and grammatical correctness.