Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答表达了喜欢唱歌的原因，但有些表达不够自然，例如“really suggest”和“pay more attention on myself”不符合英语习惯。建议使用更地道的表达，如“relax and focus on myself”。同时，回答稍显冗长，可以更简洁。

例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax and focus on myself. It also allows me to express my personality and connect with others, creating a friendly atmosphere.

提案: 回答中语法错误较多，如“Now I just learned”应为“Now I have just learned”或“Recently, I learned”。句子结构不够清晰，建议分句表达，避免长句。表达应更自然，避免直译。

例: I have learned some basic singing skills in junior high school. However, professional classes are expensive, so my family couldn't afford them. Besides, I realized that I might not have much talent for singing.

提案: 回答中有语法和用词错误，如“close friend”应为“close friends”，“relax”应为“relaxed”，“Stay in the public”表达不自然。建议使用更准确的表达，并注意主谓一致。

例: I usually prefer to sing for my close friends because I feel more comfortable and relaxed around them. Singing in public or in front of strangers makes me shy. But with close friends, the atmosphere is fun and supportive, so I can enjoy myself without worrying about being judged.

提案: 回答中存在多处表达错误，如“wonderful tour to convene the positive emotion”不通顺，且“seeing always create”应为“singing always creates”。建议使用简单明了的句子，表达清晰。

例: Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people. It helps express positive emotions regardless of language. Also, singing can create a better atmosphere in public and help people make friends.

× I think singing is a good way for me to really suggest and just pay more attention on myself.

✓ I think singing is a good way for me to really relax and just pay more attention to myself.

The phrase 'pay more attention on myself' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'to' after 'pay attention'. Also, 'suggest' seems to be a wrong word choice here, likely intended to be 'relax'. So, the sentence should use 'pay more attention to myself' and replace 'suggest' with 'relax' to make sense.

× Now I just learned some basic knowledge about singing in my junior high school because the professional singing class is so expensive that my family couldn't afford it and in addition, I realized that I without the talent in singing.

✓ Now I have just learned some basic knowledge about singing in my junior high school because the professional singing class is so expensive that my family couldn't afford it and in addition, I realized that I do not have the talent for singing.

The use of 'learned' with 'now' is awkward; present perfect 'have just learned' fits better to indicate recent learning. Also, 'I without the talent in singing' is ungrammatical; it should be 'I do not have the talent for singing' to express lack of ability properly.

× I usually prefer to sing for my close friend because I feel more comfortable and relax around them.

✓ I usually prefer to sing for my close friends because I feel more comfortable and relaxed around them.

The phrase 'my close friend' conflicts with the plural pronoun 'them'; it should be plural 'friends' to match. Also, 'relax' should be 'relaxed' to correctly describe the feeling.

× Stay in the public or in front of stranger make me shy.

✓ Staying in public or in front of strangers makes me shy.

The verb form 'Stay' should be gerund 'Staying' to act as the subject. 'The public' is incorrect; 'public' without 'the' is correct. 'Stranger' should be plural 'strangers' to generalize. Also, 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'Staying'.

× But with close friends the atmosphere was fun and supportive and so we enjoyed myself without worrying about being judged.

✓ But with close friends the atmosphere was fun and supportive and so we enjoyed ourselves without worrying about being judged.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' is incorrect here; it should be 'ourselves' to match the plural subject 'we'.

× I think singing is a wonderful tour to convene the positive emotion whatever the language they use and in addition seeing always create a better atmosphere in public.

✓ I think singing is a wonderful way to convey positive emotions whatever language they use and in addition singing always creates a better atmosphere in public.

'Tour' is incorrect; it should be 'way'. 'Convene' is wrong; the correct verb is 'convey'. 'The positive emotion' should be plural 'positive emotions' without 'the'. 'Seeing' is a typo for 'singing'. Also, subject-verb agreement: 'singing always creates'.

× Yeah, it can make our make friends with others.

✓ Yeah, it can help us make friends with others.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and redundant ('make our make'). The corrected sentence uses 'help us make friends' to express the intended meaning clearly.