Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and grammatical errors. Use clear and simple sentences to express your ideas effectively. For example, focus on one main reason and support it briefly.

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me improve my vocal skills and makes listening to music more enjoyable.

提案: Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, correct vocabulary mistakes (e.g., 'womb' should be 'room'). Keep your answer clear and structured.

例: No, I haven't learned singing formally, but I often sing along with songs when I'm alone in my room to practice casually.

提案: Try to avoid redundancy and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'Pope icon' should be 'pop icon'). Use linking words to make your answer more coherent and concise.

例: I haven't thought much about it, but I would love to sing with Atif Aslam because he is my favorite pop icon in Pakistan, and I admire his music a lot.

提案: Work on sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific reasons. Avoid vague phrases and try to express your thoughts more clearly.

例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it allows people to express their emotions. Also, singing along to music helps me focus and relax my mind.

× Yeah, I like singing sometimes because it helps me to train my vocal cords and it helps me just enjoy listening to songs while I sing them because it's like keep me engaged in listening the song and to feel it more better.

✓ Yeah, I like singing sometimes because it helps me to train my vocal cords and it helps me just enjoy listening to songs while I sing them because it keeps me engaged in listening to the song and to feel it better.

The phrase 'it's like keep me engaged' is incorrect because after 'it's like' a verb should be in the '-ing' form or a noun phrase. The correct form is 'it keeps me engaged' to maintain subject-verb agreement and proper verb form. Also, 'more better' is incorrect; 'better' alone is the correct comparative form.

× Yeah, I like singing sometimes because it helps me to train my vocal cords and it helps me just enjoy listening to songs while I sing them because it's like keep me engaged in listening the song and to feel it more better.

✓ Yeah, I like singing sometimes because it helps me to train my vocal cords and it helps me just enjoy listening to songs while I sing them because it keeps me engaged in listening to the song and to feel it better.

The phrase 'listening the song' is incorrect because the verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' before the object. The correct phrase is 'listening to the song'.

× No, not formally, but like I said earlier, I try to sing with the songs that I'm listening.

✓ No, not formally, but like I said earlier, I try to sing along with the songs that I'm listening to.

The phrase 'sing with the songs' is awkward; the correct expression is 'sing along with the songs.' Also, 'listening' should be followed by 'to' when referring to the object, so 'listening to' is correct.

× If I'm alone in the womb, I try to volume up the songs and sing with them.

✓ If I'm alone in the room, I try to turn up the volume of the songs and sing along with them.

The word 'womb' is incorrect in this context; the correct word is 'room.' Also, 'volume up' is not a correct phrase; the correct expression is 'turn up the volume.' Additionally, 'sing with them' should be 'sing along with them' to express singing together with the songs.

× And not formally, but I I like to casually learn how to sing.

✓ And not formally, but I like to casually learn how to sing.

The repetition of the pronoun 'I' is a typographical error and should be corrected by removing the duplicate.

× I haven't really thought about it, but if you were to really ask me, I would say I would really like to sing with Atif Aslam because he's my favorite singer and he's a Pope icon in Pakistan and he's really famous and I really love all of his songs.

✓ I haven't really thought about it, but if you were to really ask me, I would say I would really like to sing with Atif Aslam because he's my favorite singer and he's a pop icon in Pakistan and he's really famous and I really love all of his songs.

The word 'Pope' is incorrect here; the intended word is 'pop' referring to popular music. This is a vocabulary error rather than a pronoun error, but correcting it improves clarity.

× So it would be really admiring for me to sing with him.

✓ So it would be really admirable for me to sing with him.

The adjective 'admiring' is incorrect here; the correct adjective to describe something worthy of admiration is 'admirable.' 'Admiring' describes the act of showing admiration, not the quality of being worthy of it.

× Yes, I think singing really feel people really make people feel more happy about them because singing of different genres and means that you can express more new feelings in yourself.

✓ Yes, I think singing really makes people feel happier about themselves because singing different genres means that you can express new feelings within yourself.

The verb 'feel' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'singing.' Also, 'more happy' is incorrect; the comparative form is 'happier.' The phrase 'singing of different genres' is awkward; 'singing different genres' is better. 'More new feelings' is redundant; 'new feelings' suffices.

× And when you sing along music it really helps you to focus on one thing and not think.

✓ And when you sing along with music, it really helps you to focus on one thing and not think about other things.

The phrase 'sing along music' is missing the preposition 'with.' Also, the sentence ends abruptly with 'not think,' which is incomplete; adding 'about other things' clarifies the meaning.